The Erotic Side of Life

I came.

2008-08-15T11:56:00.002-04:00

I came today. I came thinking of my boyfriend. I came thinking of my ex-boyfriend, I came thinking of my dinner, thinking of a family barbecue, thinking that my tit felt amazing in my hand. I came thinking of my stresses at this time in my life. I came a lot today.

It felt really fucking good.

*Goes to work with a smile on her face*

Fae

2008-08-13T20:57:00.002-04:00

Ok, So I'm back from Quebec. I met the extended family of my common law partner...talk about stressful...but anyway enough about me let me tell you about a friend of mine.

5'9 and blond she stares at the high heel shoes on the ground in front of her.

"The hell do I need those for?" Her partner chuckles,
"you're a model you're supposed to enjoy the pain, embrace it and make it a part of you," His wide grin made her shudder.
"One day, One day you will be the one wearing heels George, and your name will be Georgia,"She paused as she slid her feet into the three inch heels "Ugh, Georgia Peech, you'll wear lipstick and eyeliner," She huffed as she moved back in front of the floor length mirror "You'll be crushed into some pleather outfit that has sweat dripping down the backs of your legs and your balls will itch with it."

"Ohh you're vicious Dori-anne, just vicious!" He chuckled again "You know you really are too tall to be wearing heels,"

"Christ on a crutch G you don't have to tell me that why do you think I was asking why you wanted me wearing them?" She smoothed the top of her hair out pushing any strays back down with a touch of pomade and stood in front of the mirror with a slightly dejected look. "Well. For a giant in ain't too bad," George shook his head,
"Hey once you and bag the cheating husband we'll be able to go home to our own partners for life and you'll get to dress in regular clothes, for now buck up sweet thang! You gotta job to do."

Three Hours Later....

"Honey I'm home," She whispered into the dark, he hadn't left a single light on for her again, and as she usually did she stepped forward and stubbed her toe on the end table where she dropped her keys every night. "Ouch dammit! I thought I told you to move that," She dropped her jacket on to the bench in the hall along with her purse, she removed her shoes (tacky and cheap flip flops she bought at the dollar store) and tip toed up the stairs to the bed room.

"Danny? are you awake?" She opened the door to their bedroom softly and stood in the doorway looking at him with a smile on her face. He didn't often sleep on his back and tonight with the full moon peeking through their window it shone across his face turning his red hair a shiny auburn making him into some kind of holy man. He shifted in his sleep getting comfortable and she smiled coyly removing her tank top and shorts quickly. she didn't often wear a bra or underwear so she was naked in moments. She walked softly to the bed and climbed under the covers, her first endeavor was to wake him up.

Soft kisses placed along his side starting at his rib cage and ending at his hips, then light licking kisses trailing inwards along his hip bone to his pelvis. Until at last long licks taking her along the length of him he shifts again as her mouth covers him. Sucking softly she feels his hips roll trying to start the rocking motions. Smiling she pulls up and blows softly forcing cold air over the tip of him He gasps and she giggles,

"That's what you get for faking," She grabs his cock gently and then lowers her mouth all the way down until her mouth is full of his cock to the point she can feel it almost touching the back of her throat, she now starts sliding up and down her tongue swirling at the tip.

"ohhh Gawd!" Grinning she peeks up,
"That's Goddess dear, goddess" And she licks down his length until she can suck his balls into her mouth. His hands come down on her head fingers tangling in the long blond tresses, he pulls her up,

"My Turn..." He growls She frowns at him,
"But I wasn't done..." He pulls something out from under the bed, "Whats that Dan?"
"You said you wanted bed restraints... I got you bed restraints"

~Fae

2008-07-10T01:46:00.005-04:00

She sits uncomfortably in front of the t.v. The humidex is high, the temperature is high, and sweat pools between her breasts. She has all the fans in the room moving as fast as they could and it still doesn't help.

A hand falls atop her head, she turns and smiles she goes to say good morning but he stops her with a quick hand gesture, just a finger over his mouth but it has her curious. She raises a brow in silent question and he crooks a finger at her, motioning for her to follow him down the hall. He turns in to the bathroom and turns on the shower....

(god ok I'm so tired I'm thinking nonsensically I'll try and finish this up tomorrow.....)

Fae

well, maybe this is for good.....

2008-07-08T21:26:00.002-04:00

Well, I have finished moving...for now. I now live down the street from my mother with my boyfriend in the same apartment building as my aunt and a couple of cousins (not my aunts children ....different relations...) so all in all my street and my life is slowly seeming to become a t.v. special.
*Cue crappy yet cheery music*
I'm slowly unpacking and I almost have a desk again where I shall be able to continue my writings in comfort and not have to worry about the other three people in my apartment....learning everything I don't want them knowing about me....my only problem is the 'Boy' how do i tell him?

how to tell him everything????

Sure he's noticed i like certain things in bed...and that I tend to put everyone else before me but I mean how do I tell him about 'G' and what he means to me. G is one of the closest friends i have....which is hard for anyone to understand but....he makes me smile when i don't necessarily want to and that is something only a very few select few have figured out how to do.

How do you tell your boyfriend you're a cyber slut?

Fae

2006-07-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

I am well.
I am alive and very very well.
I am happy, I am talking to G still though not entirely in the same manner.
I am seeing someone on my own side of the world and it is a healthy relationship.
I am moving forward in my life in a positive manner. I am going back to school.
I...I bought a car! Good Ness that sounds good..I have a car...my very own..well ok, mine and the dealerships but I am working on it. I am doing more and more writing and have found some objective readers to edit them. I am doing very well...in fact I am great.
I'm happy, no conditions apply. I am trying to live life one day at a time and enjoy whatever happens. So far, so good.

Fae

Who I was.

Who I am.

Who I would like to Become.

Everyone Needs A Goal - Fae

A real post, Not just another HNT.

2006-06-05T01:18:00.000-04:00

Ok, so yes I've been super busy (I miss you too Tess!) at work and with my course. I've been trying to write and go to the gym, see my friends have time with G, make time for new boy that's in my town that seems to dig me and all in all....leaves little time for blogging. So I apologize for the lack of real posts. But hey it means you get an info dump today.

Well..so long as I don't fall asleep at the desk.

1) Most recent event to talk about. Crazy lady in the store. Ok, I'll admit I thought the woman who yelled at me for not carrying the t.v. show Roseanne in our store she actually called me a "Fucking bitch" (because I'm sure the huge company I work for would just let me up and say "hey send us Roseanne it's going to sell so well!" and they'd send it like magic....not) was bad I mean give me a break lady. But not so, I met a much more interesting lady. She's been in the store twice. Tonight she came in yelling at her daughters and my new coworker (meaning in training) and I because she had a cab waiting outside. (I felt like telling her it wasn't our fault she decided to make the cabbie wait.) and she wanted a scary movie. Well if you know me, you know I don't watch scary movies. At the time I wasn't sure if she was looking for a horror movie or for Scary Movie So I went over to ask and she just yelled something about a scary movie it came out slightly unintelligable so I just said "Well, I don't watch scary movies but-" and I heard "Well then you're fucking Useless aren't you? You work here and you can't recommend a-" I laughed and walked away. I asked my Co-worker if she would mind dealing with the customer and she said no. I was proud of her, willing to deal with a karmically challenged woman like that. Another customer inquired as to her state of inebriation, she wasn't drunk....but she should have been maybe she'd have been happier.

I heard her when she got to the front desk because she slammed the cases down so hard I thought they cracked. She started yelling at "Ella" to hurry up, and actually became quite offensive so I walked over and stood there and told the...well I'm not sure what I said but it ended up being that I told the woman the Ella was in training and she said something along the lines of "She's slow she needs more training she must be dumb. You need to hurry up I have a cab waiting."
Of course at this point I'm shaking so badly I can hardly stand it and the customer who thought she was inebriated came to the front to watch the whole thing. So of course I open my mouth and say,

"It's not our fault you asked a cab to wait, we have phones we would be glad to let you use to call a cab."

At this point I think if it were possible she would have started slavering in her anger, drool foaming at the corners of her mouth as she snarls and snaps her angry words at us. Somehow or another she started calling me a nerd...I don't remember why...but it made me smile because I do consider myself a nerd so I don't find it as an insult. She said she was going to report Ella and myself and I told her to "go right ahead, the store manager is in in the morning and my name is ..." Which I got
"I know your name....*insert name here* ....I remember you from before (I thought oh yeah the bitch about the bag) I don't like you," I smiled and said,
"you don't have to like me," "You are so reported...nerd"

I felt like I was 10 again....oy the joy of tonight. I can't wait for my manager to call me tomorrow. Ella told the women when her items were due and the woman said "I'm not leaving here until I get a godamn bag," I wanted to laugh because we had gone through this the other day. Ella smiled at her a great big chesire cat grin and said "I'm sorry but have no bags, have a goodnight." The woman looked at me and snarled "huh right you don't have any fucking bags," as I'm saying "I'm sorry we still haven't gotten any in.

I had given her a huge garbage bag for her movies a few days earlier because she had bought chips as wellas movies and it was raining, today she had only two movies. No freakin' way was I giving her a bag that big for two lousy DVDs. Give me a break. So I've been laughing all night about that. Not laughing per se, just rather amused.

oh there was other stuff I had to write about and I've forgotten what it was...crapola...well I'm tired too so hopefully I will remember what it was tomorrow. Take care all.

Fae

Worry not about what you are doing, but about what you are being while you are doing it -I can't remember who said it.

Oy! What a day!

2006-06-01T01:03:00.000-04:00

Ok, so today has been super klutzy Fae day. Now, you must realize that normally I'm really not all that graceful. I have been known to be compared to an elephant, a herd of elephants and a bull in a chinashop. Not really fair comparisons as I am a tiny girl...but nonetheless it has happened. Today however It was almost like I was subconsciously trying to hurt myself in as many different and painful ways as possible and it started at about midnight wednesday.

I was on my way to bed and had to limp all the way upstairs to my room because my foot was sending up painwaves along my leg. It was interesting really, so I climbed up on my bed (yes climbed I'm short and my bed is high shush,) and I looked at the bottom of my foot, lo and behold a cut. I don't know how or when it happened. It pains me greatly. This I do know. so of course I take a picture of my foot as it is now, after I spent the day missing a chucnk of skin on my foot.

Also today while at work I was asked to do some shrink wrapping. Now normally I enjoy shrink wrapping as it means I get to not deal with customers. But of course today as I go to turn on the blower part of the machine the hot metal touches my forearm. I didn't even yelp. I wanted to, but I didn't you should be proud. I walked out and picked up the first aid kit, sat it on the counter and my co-worker just looks over a tme and quirks his head. "What now? Another band-aid?" You'd think I hurt myself a lot or something. I grabbed the polysporin and dabbed some on and grinned at him, "I burned myself" "What? Is it bad?" I refused to show him at first because I thought it hurt quite a bit, still does really, and I knew he would think I was being a pussy. Eventually he saw it and I get "That's it?" As a response. *Shaking my head,* this boy doesn't realize what I go through.

And of course I take a picture of this as well,

It doesn't look bad but it still hurts. Not even ten minutes after burning myself I go to take a step and almost trip over my own feet, at this point I think I'm trying to kill myself but I catch myself on the counter and manage to get away with a pulled stomach muscle. Don't even ask how that happened.

So recounted the other various hurts I have, puncture wounds on my right arm from the new kittens Mum and I got, scratches on my thighs from said kittens, bite marks from said kittens. Various bruises from walking into the coffee table and other articles of furniture. Bad burn lines from the halter top I was wearing to garden yesterday and my hamstrings still hurt from all the squats I did the other day at the gym.

I think I need help.

Fae

HNT-A new hobby

2006-05-17T23:24:00.000-04:00

Editors Update: Well crap I'm a dork and forgot all about the one year bangalang thing. Clearly these pictures are non-celebratory.....and I've nothing that would work....Anyone have any ideas how I can make it up?

So, I've started making my own jewelry. It's an interesting thing beading. It's a pain in the ass and so far I love it all, from the hunt for the perfect beads (which Jen and...Tammi found out is not so fun for them,) to figuring out which way to put the beads on there.

So I give you the most recent necklace I've made. Two pictures of course, I'm beginning to love the look of my shoulders and collar bone...I like this losing unneccessary weight thing....I'm looking not so bad....not that I really looked bad before. ;) We all know I'm damn fine right? ;) (I'm in a very good mood tonight can ya tell?)

It's one of the simplest things I've made so far and it took me about an hour....mainly because I kept trying to make it too difficult....too much until I decided less was more.

I hope ya'll have an amazingly good and splendiferous HNT!

(Interesting moment-in looking up the spelling for splendiferous I found a new word. Stop-cock. .....Who'd wanna stop that? ;) It's apparently a valve for regulating a gas flow or liquid in a pipe....we all learn something new every day right?)

EroticFae

Songs & Stuff (I need more music on my computer, I need to be not lazy)

2006-05-16T02:11:00.000-04:00

I haven't been tagged, but I found this interesting. So I'm doing this sans taggage.

I've put my music player on shuffle, and the answers to the questions will be the song titles that come up.

~*~Will I get far in life?~*~

Hand in my pocket - Alanis Morisette

~*~How do my Friends See me?~*~

I'd like to Have that One Back - George Strait

~*~Where Will I get Married?~*~

Delicious Surprise (So What I'm eloping?)

~*~What is My Best Friends Theme Song?~*~

Chariot - Gretchen Wilson (That must be...Tammi....she's all about buying her first car right now. ok, now I have to do Jen and Lauren now too...)
Head over Feet - Alanis Morisette (Well Shit....Tammi again, maybe I'll just stop there. oh no..*listening to lyrics,* Christ all freakin' four of us. )

~*~What is the story of my life?~*~

Haunted - Evanescence (Uhm....that scares me just a little "Long lost whispers slowly to me, still can't find what keeps me here...When all this time I've been so hard inside. Watching Me. Wanting Me. I can feel you pull me down. Feeling you, moving you, I won't let you pull me down. Haunting You I can smell you," Oh I think I need help.

~*~What was High School like?~*~

Everything I do (I do it For You) - Bryan Adams. (This makes me want to cry. Funny that I remember Panning and I danced to this...oh someone just shoot me now...but I decided to do this and do this I shall.)

~*~How Can I get ahead in life?~*~

Does Forth Worth Ever Cross Your Mind? - George Strait. This...well....I'm clicking the skip button and seeing if I can get one that makes more sense.
*Laughing Hysterically* Get Down (You're the One For Me) - Backstreet Boys Well shit, maybe I'll turn into a slut yet.

~*~What is the best thing about me?~*~

Falling For the First Time - Barenaked Ladies (Does this mean I'm a loser, or I'm naive? or stupid or cowardly or brave or...what? hey...this actually makes sense....*Finishes listening to the song*)

~*~How is today going to be?~*~

Bring Me To Life - Evanescence. (Hmmm, Perhaps someone will find me today? and wake me up? Mmmm bid my blood to run....*Sigh* Makes me think of the Anita Blake novels)

~*~What is in store for this weekend?~*~

Childhood Dreams - Nelly Furtado (I love this song but...what does it mean in this context?)

~*~What song describes my parents?~*~

Homewrecker - Gretchen Wilson (Uhmmm....ok. my mom and dad were highschool sweethearts and my dad chased after my mom like crazy cause she said she didn't want anything to do with him . He was apparently quite the ladies man. So this doesn't make sense. I'll try another one.)
Imaginary - Evanescence - Ha, this is my cynicism showing through isn't it?

~*~Grandparents?~*~

Darlin' - Backstreet Boys *Laughs* Oh, well maybe this applies to my Mom's parents, certainly not my dads. Next...
Forgiven - Alanis Morissette (Tch, That's more like it.)

~*~How is My life going?~*~

I'm Ready -Bryan Adams. (Boy am I ever.)

~*~What song will they play at my funeral?~*~

Brian Wilson - Barenaked Ladies (Live Version) {I don't really even like this song all that much}

~*~How does the world see me?~*~

My Last Breath - Evanescence ("Sweet raptured Light, it ends here tonight"? wow, a dark view isn't it?)

~*~Will I have a Happy life?~*~

Famous Last words of A Fool - George Strait ...erm...next
Shag Tag (You're it) - Prozzak ... hee hee

~*~What do my friends really think of me?~*~

(No One's Gonna) Break Me Down -Wynonna Judd (Oh baby yes! I love the woman! The lyrics for this will be at the bottom cause you just gotta love this song. It's got strength.)

~*~Do people secretly lust after me?~*~

(I shit you not this came up again) Shag Tag (You're it) - Prozzak....so I hit next cause a double just seems cheap.
All I Really Want - Alanis Morissette (Hmmm, gee thanks guy ;) )

~*~How can I make myself happy?~*~

Am I blue? - George Strait (Well crap. Apparently I don't make me happy, someone else does....thats just stupid. How can anyone else make me happy if I can't make myself happy? )

~*~What should I do with my life?~*~

Just To Be close To You - Backstreet Boys (To whom? Kevin Richardson? Sure baby I'm all about that! ;) He's the only one that's hot anymore.)

~*~Will I ever have children?~*~

I want to Know What Love is - Wynonna Judd (I guess that's a yes?)

~*~What is some good advice?~*~

You Still Own Me - Johnny Reid (WTF?)

~*~What is my signature dancing song?~*~

Heaven Help Me -Wynnona Judd (It's slow.....ech, I would have to say something more like...Ace in the Hole - George Strait or some kind of swing music...anything face paced and country...Boot Scootin' boogie by alan Jackson...something fast and hard....*grins* )

~*~What do I think my current theme song is?~*~

I Need You Tonight -Backstreet Boys (I used to be in lust with Nick....he's so not lust worthy now. and this is so not my theme song, I'd say something more like "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. It's just not in my computer yet. )

~*~What does everyone else think my current theme song is?~*~

Imaginary - Evanescence

~*~What type of men/women do I like?~*~

If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow (Hmm gee....?) NEXT!
I've Come to Expect it From You - George Strait. (I don't think I have much faith in anyone, apparently thats what my mp3 player software is telling me. oh that and get some more music on there!)

"(No One's Gonna) Break Me Down"

Road blocks, red lights
Dang brakes, that's life
People say what they want
I don't care it's just talk

Go, let's start this show

[Chorus]
I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown
Hey nothin's gonna break me down

Got my back against the wall
Cities rise, cities fall
Reckless ride, wild abandon
I'll be the one left standin'

No you can't roll this stone

[Repeat Chorus]

Bridge
I might trip up and I might stumble
But you won't ever see me crumble
Oh, oh...

I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown

[Repeat Chorus]

Nothin's gonna break me down

There you go folks, my theme song. I love it. *Goes off to dance now*
EroticFae

HNT plus One.

2006-05-11T00:53:00.000-04:00

Ok, yes, I missed last weeks...I've....well life has been interesting. I've been making up for lost time in some areas and I'm getting along good with the course I am taking so all in all, things seem to be taking an upswing...generally. Now, I'm sure you allwill have noticed by now that summer is headed our way. The weather is getting milder, and hotter, and has even been "Heavy" a few days here. Which means it can only get more disgusting. The one thing I like about summer is that as a girl I can wear as much or as little clothing as I like. Given, that I adore my breasts, I think they are my best features (although I have been recently told that my eyes are my most stunning feature)I love wearing low cut shirts. So I give you one of my new favourites. As well as a hint of what is in store for me this summer, I cut my lawn the other day, my shoulders have already turned pink....and it's only May.

It can only get more disgusting.

I want winter back.

No bra! Woohoo! *looks closer,* And you can't tell I'm cold...I like this shirt more and more.....

Can you even see the pink?

Feeling like a Big, Fat Inconveinence, even though I started the day feeling hot and sexy worth everyone's time...Sigh

2006-05-06T17:26:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged recently as I've been, well too busy. Different things have been going on and I even missed an HNT, I'll try to make it up to you this week guys. Now that I have a moment to write on here, and I have a chance to be really dramatic and let it all out again I find myself reluctant.

Hesitant. I want to curl my lip and scoff at the reluctant side of me. To tell her to back the fuck off and get a backbone to say what is the matter and not care about consequences.

Consequences, to take action is to eventually have a reaction. The action I want to take is a negative one. I want to bitch and complain and rant and rave like a bitch. This would only cause hurt in someone, and possibly an even greater negative reaction, now mathematically this should make a positive.

I keep seeing nuclear bombs blowing up in my face.

Somehow that doesn't seem very "positive", more like a great big fat negative with pickled beets and sauerkraut on top (The two worst tasting things around in my opinion).

So instead of being a complete bitch, I leave you with this message:

People, whether friend family or only an acquaintance, do not like feeling like they are an inconveinence.

HNT - With a backstory.

2006-04-27T00:57:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here goes, on monday I was in the shower, a hot, steamy shower with water dripping down my pale skin, which was of course turned a light pink from the heat. Suddenly....the top of my thigh is itchy, and I mean "Holy mother of potatoes my thigh is driving me freakin' insane!" kind of itchy.

So I scratched it....I scratched it really hard, vigorously....so hard in fact, that when I stepped out of the shower and started drying off....well holy shit would you look at that?!

Popped Blood vessels, they were quite a bit darker on Monday today being Thursday at 1:00am it's had a while to heal. Now, I'm a little uncertain about something....

Did the blood vessels pop therefore making my leg so incredibly itchy I couldn't stand it, or did I scratch my leg so hard I popped the blood vessels? I didn't look at my leg before I started scratching for fear of the dreaded moment of Shampoo in the eyes, so I really don't know.

But I do know one thing. Either way, it's kinda unnerving.

Fae

A Power Exchange.

2006-04-25T01:29:00.000-04:00

His weight was crushing me, leaving me almost breathless. My arms tugged high above my head and held with just one of his hands. I could feel him, hard and heavy pressed against me I looked into his eyes and marveled again at how gorgeous they were. I whimpered a little when he pulled away and gasped when he dragged his free hand up over my chest, pausing to tug, twist and pinch my nipple; moaning softly as his hand continue to travel up, the tips of his fingers sliding over my collar bone back and forth just under my leather collar. I arch myself trying to bring his hand back to my breast when his hand wrapped around my throat.

My eyes widened and flew to his as I struggled to breathe, his fingers tightening as he rubs himself against me, the head of his cock rubbing at my clit.

"p-please...!" struggling to breathe as he leans into my ear,

He pushes himself inside me and I cry out hoarsely, the pressure on my vocal cords making my voice all but useless. "What's your name?" he hisses it in my ear,

"An-" I croak a little as his hand tightens, "Pet! Pet! it's pet!" I'm almost frantic for air and he loosens his hold on my throat, taking his hand away slowly he leans in a kisses my neck softly.

"That's my good girl," He reaches up and takes my hands in both of his holding me down against the bed. Pulling himself out slightly I cry out and buck my hips, he lays against me so I can barely writhe beneath him. "Who do you belong to?"

"You Master, only you!" My throat dry and my chest heaving my nipples brushing his chest every time I breathe in. I look down at his lips and get the urge to kiss him I try to lean up into him but he holds my arms down so I can't move my head up any more than a few inches. He grins wickedly at me as I whimper and struggle against his hands, I notice his eyebrow is raised and think nothing of it. I give up after a brief struggle to move closer and panting I collapse beneath him, I've wrapped my legs around him, our bodies are locked together and I secretly revel in the feel of him stretching me.

"Is there something you want pet?" I nod my head slowly and lick my lips, "Then you'll have-" I rail my body against his, my arms struggling to wriggle out of his grasp my body bucking against his, my heels planted firmly into the bed as I try to buck him off me. He just settles his weight over me and stares down into my eyes, a most disconcerting stare, and after I'm exhausted from the second failed attempt and I lay there gasping, he finshes "You'll have to ask dear," He pumps himself in and out of quickly a few times and I cry out. "Ask for it, or tell me what you want my pet, I'll decide if you can have it, if you deserve it," He thrusts into me hard once more and my body arches under his,

"Kiss me please...?" He leans back and just stares at me. He leans in and bites my breast painfully,

"Please what?"

"master...please Master....please...oh god please!" he grins,

"I like to hear my pet begging me," He leans in again and licks the shell of my ear, and his teeth nibble on my lobe, he softly begins kissing down my jaw line and makes his way to my lips. There he hovers above them, barely touching me and as I lean forward he pulls away I groan in defeat and lay limply against the bed, too tired to fight for it, waiting for it to be given to me, hoping for it with my eyes closed and then I feel them against me, his lips no mine kissing me so softly, his tongue gently parting my lips and sliding against mine, his hands loosen their grip and I can wrap myself around him, my arms around his shoulders, my legs around his waist. Our bodies so tight together, the feel of him pushing in and out of my body driving me insane and gasping as he rolls us over. I'm on top now. I smile down at him, reveling in the small amount of power I feel up here, I know I'm his. But for now, he can be mine.

EroticFae

HNT - The Forgotten Post.

2006-04-20T12:11:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've been online...In fact...it's been a week.

I go from HNT to HNT apparently. I've been feeling so good I just haven't been staying inside. I've been doing a little shopping, and looking for a new job and what not and in fact *gasp* I forgot about HNT until I was in the middle of my workout. So, I finished the workout and came in here to post a pic. It's one I took a while ago, I wasn't going to post it as I think my legs look disembodied. It just looks weird and not like my legs at all...I managed to make them look sorta skinny so in that way it's good. But here you go.

My Legs.

Happy HNT All!

Fae

P.S. I've been so busy that by the time I got around to being able to take a picture...my bum was all healed...although maybe that wouldn't be a pic either....

An early HNT

2006-04-12T13:48:00.000-04:00

I'm posting early as I will be extremely busy tonight and most of tomorrow. So here it is. My very, very, very sore bum...as it was a few nights a go. As Soon as I get a chance I will take a more recent photo so you can see the way it looks now.

It felt delicious and wonderful. I thanked G for it extensively. *Grins,* I'll let your imaginations work on that one.

As always you can click if you want a bigger pic....although my ass doesn't need to be any bigger than it is... ;)

EroticFae

2006-04-11T10:17:00.000-04:00

*taken From my comments area*

This is one beautiful, amazing woman. She is standing beside me as I type, and I can't help but catch my breath every time I glance at her.

The collar truly looks better in person, a photo can never do such beauty justice.

PS, with any luck, we may have taken care of the next week or so's HNTs too

G.

Yes, we have taken care of next weeks HNT. Well, this weeks....*Shaking my head,* Whatever. Ok, so G came over on Sunday, I got to spend some more time with him, Curled in his arms watching a movie...or not watching as the case may be. He brought a DVD with him and we managed to watch it just before he left, it was The Reduced Shakespeare Players..or something to that effect. They are abso-freakin-lutely hilarious by the way!

I'm still trying to figure out just how exactly to describe all that went on while we were together. I have so many jumbled thoughts, I still get excited when I think about it, I don't know how to explain it....all I know is that he makes me smile. He makes me laugh and feel completely gorgeous inside and out. He can keep up an intelligent conversation which doesn't include how long it's been since he last violated himself which is more than I can say for any of the guys I've met here.

I'm planning on going to New Zealand. I'm not sure when, it won't be for a while as I need to get the spending money and airfare and what not. But I will get there.

Oh, and on a high-note, he is much more skilled than anyone I've been with before....he uhm...well I liked it when he went down on me so.....I may be changing my mind about that....maybe.....probably....more than likely....

*Smiles,* He bought me a book....and as cheesy as it is...I fell asleep holding it last night. It's The Best of Roald Dahl, with his short stories meant for adults, they're a little more twisted than you might think, and they're great. I certainly never knew he was so twisted. G has opened my eyes to so many new things, and I'm still sorting out whether I like all of them. I'm pretty sure I did, I found out that he likes the struggle just as much as I do. I really like to fight a bit.

To have my body bucking and squirming under his until I'm out of breath and can't catch it, until I'm so out of it that I just keep bucking because it feels so good. To have his hands holding my arms down, his body pressing down on mine, holding me there. Then after he curled up behind me, holding me to him as close and as tight as possible...it felt so good. Now I just have to put all of this into a story or a poem and I'll be good. I've so many words tumbling around in my head I don't know where to start.

EroticFae

1 HNT = 1 Of G's Gifts To Me

2006-04-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I slept in today....a lot. But after work last night I went to a friends and watched a movie I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I would. Dukes of Hazzard. Yes JeN I am a traitor. I liked it. It made me laugh and as much as I was disgusted at Simpson's ....well everything for the most part I enjoyed it. But on to the important stuff of the day. The HNT.

Now, I'm sure ya'll have read my previous...two posts...right? Right? Yah, I didn't think so, well to recap for you G has been in town for a while and I finally got to meet him, (details are in the previous posts.) He bought me two gifts while we were downtown and today, I shall you one of them.

My Collar (You can click it to make the image bigger if you like)

I love the feel of it around my neck....when G tugs on the loop at the front....*Smiles,* I just love it in general.

But sadly enough today I feel not so good and suffer from fever blisters and canker sores and a sore throat so I think I shall head for the couch and watch a movie before work. I think it's all because of the weather changes. From warm and sunny, to freakin' cold with snow blowing all over the place...it's killer. And it's the only time I get fever blisters. *Sighs,* No kissing for me.....not that I have anyone around that I could kiss...*Sighs,*

Well I hope everyone has a great day! Happy HNT All!

EroticFae

Five Little Words

2006-04-05T01:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so here are the stories about JeN's five random words. Now, they aren't full stories just one or two sentences quickly about the word....so here goes:

Kleenex : My grade 4...or 5 teacher was almost obsessive about what we called Kleenex...because we didn't have the brand Kleenex in the room we had to call it Tissue. I'm sorry but if somes says the want tissues.....I want to hand them tissue paper...you know for wrapping gifts in?

Jean Jacket : I am a younger sister. Yes, to many of you out there I am devil spawn. I am the one that stole my sisters clothes. and never fessed up. I would wear them, and put them back without putting them through the wash (I didn't wear her underwear or anything so it's not as bad as it could be). I never asked though...which is what usually got me in trouble. Now, my sister was...a slightly bigger girl than I have ever been so her jean jacket sorta made me look all wiaf-like and a little like a young girl trying to look older than she really was. Which is why I loved it of course. *laughs,* She hated it when I wore her jacket...and she really lit into me about wearing it one day...it was raining....I got her precious jacket wet...a few years after my dad got sick I found an old suede and fur jacket of his. Very 70's looking. She tried to tell me off for wearing that....but he told me I could have it. I threw that in her face...I was 15 maybe. It felt good. Is that bad?

Pineapple : I am very nervous about a guy going down on me. I don't think I taste very...good and so when guys start to...I usually try and dissuade them from it. Tess has told me just a while ago that if I'm worried about it to eat pineapple....I never knew....I've been eating more pineapple.

Visor : My mom hates having things on her visors or the rearview mirror, but the one thing I can remember hanging in our Bronco (my favourite vehicle that we've ever had) was a dud of a bullet that my dad gave my mom. The bullet is still around here somewhere, and whenever I see it I think of driving to my cottage with my dad. Just him and I together, he would put my hand on the gear shift and teach me how to change gears until I could do it without looking at the age of seven. My cousin has given me a dud of a bullet now, telling me that my dad had given him one....and I can't wait for my own car.

Magazine : I have a compulsion. I must collect....anything. If I buy a magazine I buy that mag religiously for about a year, until I don't have any shoeboxes left to fill with them and then I throw them all out. Does it make sense to anyone out there? Cause it doesn't to me.

So there you have it. My brief takes on those words. So now I challenge you my readers. I lift my sword into a duelling stance and am at the ready to parry your words.

Every hmmm let's make it Monday, and I will post on Tuesday...I would like you to email me with a word. First person with their email to me gets a story or a prize if they can stump me. I haven't figured the prize yet....I have to think that part out. Perhaps it will be something we decide on together? I'm not sure....If you have any ideas on that leave your comments and we'll see what I can manage.

En garde!
EroticFae

Read Below for the rundown on my weekend meeting G for the first time, on what we did....and some amusing pics I took.

I cried a Single tear when he left....

2006-04-03T23:11:00.000-04:00

Ok, So I start this post off with a...holy shite do I have a lot to blog about~!~!~!~!

This past Saturday, April 1st of 2006 (which I have just realized was April Fools Day), I met Him. G. My master, Dom, friend and confidante. A person with whom I have many things in common and apparently just as many things not in common.

i.e. He likes Bill Murray....Me, not so much. He likes Family Guy, Me...not so much....He almost loathes "Charmed". Me...I love it it's my favourite T.V. series at the moment and has been since Buffy was cancelled. I can speak english and very disjointed French with an extremely bad accent. He, well I lost track of the languages he can speak, read and just get by in....it actually floored me when I found that out. I was constantly learning this weekend. I was taught how to swear in Italian and learned that I...quite enjoy being pinned to the bed...and struggling.

I enjoy the struggle....my body bucking under his to get away...although admittedly I wasn't trying too hard but I did try...

We did a lot and just briefly this is the rundown of the weekend, A visit to the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum for those of you non-Torontonians) complete with him pulling me into corners to give me a quick kiss or pulling me down on a bench with a recorded voice talking about Tea...The voice was quite tedious ...him biting my neck was not. A trek to the Eaton Center where we had a late lunch and waited for Lauren to call us so we could meet for dinner. We walked to Laurens and stood outside for to wait for her. Once she got home we were headed for Salad King and got distracted....we headed into "Stag Shop"....yes a sex toy store. I tried one three different corsets. He bought me the one I decided I liked the best....although I was prepared to buy it myself...It makes me feel gorgeous...and sexy and admittedly the lacing on the back makes me feel like I've been tied in....a very err...(opposite of Dominatory word...uhmm) a very Submissivatory Feeling if you will...*Grins,* I got another new word! At this point I also
noticed He had a bag...which he wouldn't let me see in...I was very curious. I didn't peek....that Doesn't mean lauren didn't though ;) She saw the massage oil...but that's all. We had Dinner with Lauren at the Salad King (A really yummy-licious Thai Restaurant with cafeteria style seating.) and then walked her home and went to catch the train out to a town very close to where I live and then headed to the motel/hotel.

Once we got there He showed me what he had bought me. A Collar. *Smiles,* A very lovely Collar. Which I quite enjoyed wearing for him...especially in My corset. We saw Ice Age 2...which I loved! So cute and funny! I like the possums....! We had dinner with my Mum...*groans,* Anyone have any idea how nervous/awkward i felt having dinner with the woman who gave birth to me, and the man who had spanked me not even an hour before? We saw Firewall though there was considerably more fondling of Me during Firewall as there were only 6 people in the theatre and no kiddies. (Firewall started almost twenty minutes late, and we got free complimentary passes to the movies...He let me have them....so...Now I need to go and see another movie...what a shame *note sarcasm* Both nights he spent out here I got to cuddle with him, spend time wrapped in his arms and you have no idea how....safe...and yet sad that made me feel...mainly because every once in a while I would remember. It was going to end. He would
leave....He had to he lives on the other side of the world! He's only here in Canada for a little more than a week now and I may get to see him once more. And then I might not. I have learned quite a bit about myself. I can be quite cheeky...and I like....quite enjoy...am held in thrall by teeth on my skin. As much as I hate being marked in visual places, like on my throat if it's somewhere I can hide a little easier...I love it. Being pinned...I've never been pinned before.....I liked it...Spanked....He spanked me a few times...and I was always left trembling and once he had to carry me back to bed, (Oh and as an afterthought to any who may want to know, yes there may be pictures,) No one has ever made me tremble like that.

It's given me things to think about. I'll have stories to write. Maybe some Poems. I'll have pictures to show....I can't wait to get them from Him.

And I don't doubt there will be questions from some of you that will need to be answered and I will do my best by you.

My Next post will Have JeN's random word list, 5 random words she picked out and stories that I can think of to go with them.

Her Words in order Are:
1)Kleenex (Yes, I do have a story in mind)
2)Jean Jacket (See Above)
3)Pineapple (See above)
4)Visor (See Above)
5)Magazine (See Above.)

Sorry Jen...you haven't stumped me yet...Look for it later on this week with an idea Jen has come up with...that I just may expand on.

Eternally Yours,
EroticFae

P.S. I don't how I could forget but we passed this ad that made G stop and do an actual doubletake....he had a bit of a goofy grin on his face and so I asked him "What?" and He pointed...I of course was blind and couldn't see the forest for the trees.. "The Ad Dear...on the wall...rather ironic given our situation isn't it?" I couldn't resist...I had to take a picture.

Click for a larger image...but don't worry there's on taken of just the words....it's next.

Again Clicky Clicky for a bigger shot.

Yours, Fae.

HNT : The Oddity.

2006-03-30T00:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, so JeN gets her wish....she asked for an amusing picture, and then she said she wanted one of an elbow. So, I give you....My elbow!!!!!

Although it is my right elbow and I do have a story to go with it, if you haven't figured it out by now...I have a story to go with everything.

When I was in grade 8. I broke my elbow. Doing a cartwheel. Lame isn't it? It was for a good cause though.....Our V.Princepal was retiring(the greatest teacher/principal ever!) and we were doing a play for him, complete with choreographed dance sequence done to the Mission Impossible theme song. It was during a rehearsel of the dance sequence that it happened....

There it was, on the stage floor, the brown envelope. The music was on, we were spinning and whirling across the stage, I ran on stage and started the cartwheel ...my right hand landed ok on the floor where it was supposed to...my left...landed right on that damned envelope. Whoosh! Envelope slips, goes up in the air, of course my hand follows it and I land, with all my weight, on the opposite arm. I cried...of course I cried I'm not immune to pain...the fact that walked around for 2 days in pain with out a cast and not complaining just means I can tolerate pain. It didn't hurt that my Dad looked at my arm when I got home and said "Ahh, you'll be ok in a couple days." Even though my mom wanted to take me to the hospital. She did the next night....my arm had swollen to twice it's size.....it was interesting.

That was also when my best friend in the whole wide world decided to tell me it didn't hurt that much, grabbed my arm and yanked it straight out from my body...I screamed so loud her dad came running. Hee Hee...she felt so bad....and I still have fun teasing her about it. I'm mean that way I guess....but she's got stuff on me...oh yes she does.

Fae

Random Quote and a moment of anticipation....

2006-03-26T23:46:00.000-05:00

There are three ages for women in Hollywood, Babe, District Attorney and Driving Miss Daisy ~ Goldie Hawn

Less than a week to go....Next Saturday....G and I will meet for the first time...I've been a state of semi-nervousness, semi-anticipatory, semi-anxious happiness for a while....ok Since the beginning of the month. But Who's counting?

I keep thinking of reasons why we shouldn't meet. Not that I've ever voiced them out loud. I know exactly how he would shut them down, or if I don't know, then I know he would shut them down and it's pointless to argue the point. So, I suck it up and hope.

So maybe I'm not a total lost cause hmmm?

Alright so I way overspent this weekend as I had a rare Sunday off I went shopping with my Mum and Sister and her kids and well overspent. But at the end of the day I made a necklace and two bracelets and got a pair of pants on sale and have plans to buy a new bra and a sundress (which my Mum and Sis hate but my friend "Tammi" loves.) as well as possibly getting a pair of Capris...which are supposed to be just under the knee type shorts and not half way down my calf capris...but hey they don't look half bad.

I strongly dislike being short some days.

Fae

HNT #....I don't have a clue....

2006-03-22T23:11:00.000-05:00

One of the things I rather do not like about myself are my hands, as I am a tiny person ...everything about me is tiny. Right down to the palm of my hand and the size of my fingers. So here is my hand for you to gaze upon, unpainted and adorned with my school ring and the second ring I received for a birthday. My sixteenth I believe...

Of course, I give you the left. The hand read in palmistry, the hand "given" in marriage, the hand the used to be a sign of "evil". Unexciting...but I'm doing this early maybeif you check back later I'll have something better for you.

It looks rather disembodied if you ask me.

Fae

Post Posting Post...if you understand that.

Ok, so last night I was completely going out of my mind with confusion. This New Guy who shall be henceforth known as "Peacemaker"...at least until I find something better to call him. He is a Libra, an air sign....I am a Sagittarian. A fire Sign....you would think Fire and air would go well.....I don't understand the freaking guy! He's driving me insane.....First he's all "I only go into your store to see if you're working" (I melted at that point) and now he's all indifferent and backing away...and he made me kiss his cheek....Hello, I'm not his SISTER! *Grumps,*

Maybe I'm just seriously frustrated...sexually that is. Anyway, This is the pic I was going to post to show you the state of confusion I was in...But I didn't want to do another sullen pic...you've had enough of those, but I must be honest with you and myself. I'm freakin' lost when it comes to this guy.

Fae.

2006-03-22T16:44:00.000-05:00

So, I've realized that when I drive, I think. And I don't just mean drive to the store. I've spent the past hour and a half getting to my sisters so when I go for extensive drives on my own, I think....a lot...it puts things into perspective.

I don't like putting things into perspective. It's like putting a mirror in front of me and saying "What are your worst features?". It's disgusting.

I was listening to Wynonna Judds C.D. "What the World Needs Now (is love)" and of course being in the overly emotional state of the female kind I spent most of the drive trying not to cry.

Lime has told me to try to live not expecting that other shoe to drop, don't wait for it to happen and just live my life. So much easier to say it than to do it. I used to think that I was carefree and happy-go-lucky, easy going and generally easy to get to know.

How easy is to get to know someone when they distrust everything you say and do? It can't possibly be easy, I for one would want to drop that person as fast as possible, but it's hard to drop yourself...so to speak...? (Am I making any sense here?)

I pass on to you the lyrics of the song I fell in love with this past hour and will the carry on with my ....diatribe...?

Your Day Will Come
Lyrics by: Stephony Smith / Jeremy Stover

Pack up all your tears
Bury the past
Send them away
Don't let 'em hold you back
Love will find you again
You'll find another way to begin
And you'll trust in someone
Your day will come

Chorus
Throw it on the line
Let your heart break down
Know that at the right time
Love is gonna come around
Open up your soul and
Let the moment hold you
Don't push it away
Oh I know you know
You belong in the sun
Your day will come

Don't go back there
Don't tear yourself apart
Just listen to you
Remember who you are
Wait for true love
What's one more day
You'll find the one
Your day will come

Chorus
Throw it on the line
Let your heart break down
Know that at the right time
Love is gonna come around
Open up your soul and
Let the moment hold you
Don't push it away
Oh I know you know
You belong in the sun
Your day will come

Bridge
Pack up all your tears
Bury the past
Send them away

Chorus

I felt like she was speaking (singing?) directly to me...How do you bury past though? Especially when you feel like the past is all you have of someone...if you let that go then you have nothing. And you can never get it back again? And when that is gone, you are truly alone.

I gave up on God. The people I know that believe in God, as far as I know have never had anything but bad things happen to them. Death, illness, disability, abuse, addictions, divorce. To name precious few. *Note the sarcasm and vague feelings of anger*

So I believe in my family and friends. Those that are in my life and try to force it into my thick skull that they won't be going anywhere. That they'll be sticking around for a while yet. Those that can and have said that they love me. I also believe in those that have passed on. Mainly because there are moments where I can feel them and I know that they're ok, and that they're telling me I'll be ok.

But hell, maybe that is just a sign of insanity.

I need to make a change with the direction my life is taking. Maybe it just means taking a vacation and getting out of town for a day or two. Maybe it means changing jobs, or moving out of town. I don't know. I don't know what I can do.

I do know what I can't do. I can't go on without trying, and no one's gonna stop me.

(No One's Gonna) Break Me Down
Lyrics by: Brett James / Hillary Lindsey / Angelo

Road blocks, red lights
Dang brakes, that's life
People say what they want
I don't care it's just talk

Go, let's start this show

Chorus
I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown
Hey nothin's gonna break me down

Got my back against the wall
Cities rise, cities fall
Reckless ride, wild abandon
I'll be the one left standin'

No you can't roll this stone

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
I might trip up and I might stumble
But you won't ever see me crumble
Oh, oh?

I ain't gonna let 'em hurt me now
They ain't gonna break me down
I ain't gonna let 'em kick me around
No one's gonna take my crown

Repeat Chorus

Nothin's gonna break me down

EroticFae

2006-03-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

(I originally started this post with "I want..." but it's so much more than that.)
I need...

...to shake my fist in anger,
...to scream out my frustrations,
...to rake my nails down the skin of my arms so deep it draws blood,
...to know that I can feel,
...to know that I can cry,
...to know that I can grieve,
...to know that I belong,
...to know that it's ok that I'm alive,
...to feel safe again,
...to know that I'm not going insane,
...to understand why I can give so much to others, when they can never give to me;
...to figure out why I always feel so out of place and alone,
...to know what it's like to be dominated by someone standing in front of me,
...to know that I won't always be let down by those around me,
...to not fear difference, or change,
...to make a change...a big change.

Eroticfae

Just a quickie,

2006-03-16T13:29:00.000-05:00

I went and visited The Village Idiots
base of operations and I found his quiz, at which I failed...I mean hugely sucked. It was like pepe le pu walked in the room. So, here's my own quiz. Enjoy!

Take My Quiz
- on -
QuizYourFriends.com!

(My HNT is below this post)
EroticFae

HNT, Enjoy!

2006-03-16T00:46:00.000-05:00

I have been in a constant state of arousal for the past two weeks....G is in NY and therefore can't help me out (phonecalls from hotels being so pricey,) even if he offered I wouldn't...{Something other than 'let him'} accept it...? Too much moolah!)

The...equipment... I have handy is not of much help, and the bra I'm wearing doesn't help either as the stitching on the inside of it runs right over my nipple....but its just so darn pretty!

Oh and just so you know, I match too!

And they're green! Not a true green of course, A very very pale green....which works well with my very pale skin.

It's all the green I had....*Shrugs,* I couldn't have worn nothing....!

*Wicked grin,*

EroticFae

I cried a single tear....literally.

2006-03-12T23:26:00.000-05:00

I have a good heart,
I'm kind,
Understanding and sympathetic.

I deserve the best in life.
I should not have to settle for less than that.

This past month, lunar cycle, astroligcal period whatever you want to call it has sent me into a depression.

Maybe it's because G is on vacation and I can't talk to him the way I normally would. But I'll be meeting him in real life soon. It gives me something to look forward to.

Maybe it's because Pisces seems to have it in for me. 1st boyfriend, that I have dubbed my non-boyfriend as we all deserve to have one guy we negate ever having had a relationship with, was a pisces. He cheated on me. My best friend from elementary school was a Pisces. I found out she and some of my other 'friends' had been talking about me behind my back. She called me a Bitch. You call me that to my face that's fine I'll deal I can respect that. I can not and will not respect someone who hasn't got the brass to do that, when they need to make themselves feel bigger, by putting others down. My first real relationship, with Panning no less, he was a pisces. He ripped my still beating heart out of my chest and continues to stomp on it every time I give him the chance. I give him the chance because I'm naive, gullible foolish, and I have hope.

Hope is what keeps me going, keeps me strong.

I'm pretty sure G is a pisces....or close to it. But I could be screwing up my dates again. I tried pushing him away, in that respect I broke my own heart a little, and he healed it by showing me that he wasn't going anywhere. He is my friend first and foremost, a man I have many things in common with and one I have come to love however I can over this network of binary codes.

I'm scared.

Terrified really but what does that matter?

All that matters is that I push through day by day, I hold on. I do what it takes to get through another day. To survive.

I need to learn to let go. I think I'm driving myself insane. I also think I might be a little dyslexic or at least have some sort of learning disability.

I just want to be held. I want strong arms to wrap around me and press me tight against his body. His chin just barely resting on the top of my head, my eyes closed and breathing in the scent of him. His hands rubbing up and down my back, and his lips pressing softly on the top of my head.

It's the little things I want, but in waiting for them to happen I'm also waiting for that other shoe to drop.

The one that takes it all away. I've started thinking that it's almost dangerous to know me, to be around me. People get hurt, they leave, they die. They just....fall away and I can't help it. Can't help them. Can't help myself.

I feel so much guilt. I can't let it go.

and I'll never be able to say why.

Melancholic, over Dramatic. Upset and Irritated is what I am.

2006-03-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

Editor's Note: If you click on the picture you can see a larger version...what they should really look like. OK? Ok. Ciao! ~F.

I'm melancholic, over dramatic and a little more than over the top. At least for today...and yesterday. Maybe it's just not my week. Though my Horoscope said I should "Go in for the kill" I tried. It crashed. And now I burn.

And then I played a little with the crap photo program I have and this is what the result was.

And another that was supposed to look like an oil painting...maybe it would if it were bigger...

Last one I promise, the one before this had a texture to it...I don't know if you could tell or not...but well this one doesn't.

Enjoy, and enjoy the poem below. it's another testament to the emotions I never let out. Except for on here.

Fae

Devil in Me. A poem with reflections of three.

2006-03-08T00:36:00.000-05:00

Beliefs are strong, until they crash.
Hopes are fragile, they get dashed.
Wavering, flitting, fluttering through
All day long lies are truth.

Be strong, don't wilt.
Hard as iron,
Cold as winter's steel,
This way, you can't feel,

Don't bend, Don't sway
lead the others astray.
This way they'll never know,
The feelings you never show.

Truth can bend into deceit
Lay your problems at my feet,
My problems, with you I shall share,
just to see if they compare.
Try to find the lies I hide,
You'll never find where it divides,
My truth and lies are as one.
Comparsions 'twixt us there shall be none.

You do not compare to the devil in me.
Nor shall you ever,
see one
as sweet as she.

DarkEros, EroticFae & A.C.

I was happy all day, and now...well now I'm definately not.
~Fae

2006-03-03T13:27:00.000-05:00

I'm a delinquent, a kender, a deviant, a thief, She who steals under the shadow of night.

Although I do give credit where it is due so I thank Jericho for posting his stats (which is where I caught on to this), and LL for finding the site (where Jericho ripped it from ;) )

So...Here I am in a graph...so what do you think?

Clearly I'm not the most logical of people, and I'm very physical though not terribly ,....aural? *goes to look it up* Aural: of having to do with the ear.

Ok, I'm not all that great of a listener I guess....I like my solitude but I like to talk.

maybe that's why I don't listen well I'm too busy talking while I'm alone. I should really stop talking to myself eh?
Hmph, well, here's how I ..rate (?) with other women...

Well, I'm..more everywhere other women are less and I'm less everywhere other women are more. If you understand that I'm proud of you. You have learned the lingo of non-logistics. (You like that alliteration don't you? yah, Yah, I know I'm good)

Sorry I get a little goofy when I'm not feelin' top notch.
...I think I might be a tad dyslexic today I'm typing a lot of stuff backwards. Hmm can't wait until I go to the mall and start talking life could be very interesting today. Enjoy guys!
Be well!
Fae

Ill....a bad pic but whatever

2006-03-03T00:37:00.000-05:00

I'm ill, I feel naseaus, have since about 6pm, it's now twenty to one in the am....I didn't post hnt like I should have. I'm posting now. Go me.

It's a pic I took of a henna tattoo I got at wonderland last summer, a little big for my taste but I went with it. I want a faerie tattoo....but something with color. I'm gonna have to keep looking I guess.

Fae

When does this ill crap end?!

2006-02-27T09:57:00.000-05:00

He holds my hips so gently in his hands, his body pressed so tightly against my back I can't help but grin. We're here, together, at last. He pushes me towards the bed, laying me down on my stomach. His hands roaming my body massaging and at times tickling my sides. I turn my head so I can see him. He watches for any reaction as his fingers glide up and down my spine as his fingers run through my hair goosbumpbs prickle over my arms and I writhe slightly on the bed, my pelvis grinding into the mattress. He smiles softly and draws his fingers down, he raises my hands up and runs the tips down my sides, lightly over the sides of my breasts, down where my waist dips in and then to my hips. He runs his hands over the cheeks of my bum, and I wriggle a little on the bed. My face turning a light shade of pink. He chuckles and pats my bum tenderly, I sigh and relax in to the mattress. He presses his palm down on to me and slides his hands down my legs to my ankles. He lifts one and presses a soft kiss to the ankle and then drags his mouth up it to the calf where he lick and bites at the soft flesh on the inside of my thigh. I cry out softly and spread my legs wider. I can feel his grin on my skin, and I smile in return, my hands gripping the comforter balling it in my fists.

"Oh Please!" Whimpering softly, making little mewling noises I try to pull myself up, to turn myself over , he presses his hands into my back, not allowing me movement. Leaning down and pressing his mouth into the middle of my back Kissing up my spine he lays down beside me and watches my face as his hand raises and falls hard on my bum. The resounding smack loud to my ears but no louder than my cry. He smiles and brushes his hand over my cheek,

"So beautiful," He presses a soft kiss to my lips and spanks me again. Harder and in roughly the same place. My body bucks, and I cry out softly,

"Ohh! Thank You Master." Everytime his hand falls on my flesh, I thank him. It releases something in me. He leaves me writhing on the bed and grabs the ice bucket which we had filled earlier. Taking an ice cube he trails it from the nape of my neck down to my ass. The cube melting into the heat of my body and drawing the sting out of my flesh. He draws it over my my bum and down over the lips of my pussy. Squealing softly my body arches away from it and he chuckles at my reaction.

"Turn over Pet, I want to see your face," His voice is deeper now than before, I turn over and see his eyes dark and welcoming. He spreads my legs and presses the cube to my pussy again I whimper and relax, knowing he'll do it one way or another, I can feel it melting over my clit. He runs it up and down the lips, parting them so softly. I swallow thickly and moan as he pinches my clit. He tosses the half melted cube into a nearby bowl and grabs a new one. He presses it into me, my body spreads for it as he pushes the cube inside me. I can feel how cold it is inside me, how warm I am around it, and I cry out as his fingers follow it. Fucking me with his fingers touching the cube every so often reminding me of it's presence, I feel the melted water starting to run out of me. He presses his lips to me. Sucking on my clit, drawing me closer, his mouth surrounding my pussy, tongue flicking in me sipping at the cold water mixed with my taste.
"Good Lord," Flicking his tongue over me as I writhe, "You taste divine Pet" Sucking my clit into his mouth he reaches up and tweaks my nipple, I cry out, my body bucking and arching as my pussy clenches and pulses around his tongue. He smiles up at me and watches as the last of the water spills from me soaking the bedspread.

"You are such a good pet." He leans up nuzzling my cheek and neck biting softly, I wrap my arms around him reveling in the comfort of his arms. Knowing I pleased him, and Knowing I'm about to get the fucking of my life.

EroticFae

An HNT Story - GameNight of Hilarity (Can I freak your Freakin' Freak?)

2006-02-22T22:51:00.000-05:00

Editior's Note: So JeN and Lauren came and spent the night, we played video games (Final Fantasy X baby!) and drank, and made food and had crazy moments of hilarity. So for this weeks HNT. I bare myself to you. Not in full out Nekkidness as I have before. But this thursday you see me.

It'll probably be one of the only times.
EroticFae

We started making dinner at about 7:30. Sorry 'bout that guys. We went out earlier, bought the ingredients, and the booze and I made them nervous with my driving. *Laughs,* They're so easy to scare.

Jen's Getting the cheese all grated up for us, it was extremely crumbly, I assume because it was warm-er than it should have been? Maybe.

Someone said we should get a picture of JeN and her crack nail. So we did. Yes it's off center. I like it that way.

Lauren's prepping our veggies for the wraps we'll be eating for an extremely late dinner [my fault had to go to the doc to have a very painful sliver removed. Sorry guys :( ]

A random picture of my Kitty. His name is Destiny, my mom named him. I wanted to call him Spatula. I don't remember taking it.

These are our drinks for the night...Daquiri's, Woo Woo's and Coke. We got the ingredients for the Woo Woo's just because we wanted to say we were drinking Woo Woo's. It's fun to say trust me.

We can't Find the Tzatziki! What do we do? We look for 10 minutes for it. It can't possibly be at the grocery store. I know how to pack groceries guys, I don't put something that tiny in a bag of it's own thank you very much! *sticking out my tongue at JeN and Lauren.* Although I didn't see it when I looked in the trunk...sorry Lauren...but hey

I found a weird lightbulb.

TRIUMPH!!!! We found the tzatziki! We had a few moments of fear but it's ok now, so we go down to the basement with all the goodies and eat.

As usual something ends up going into my cleavage. This time, our Tzatziki knife. Landing with the pointy part coming out, thank goodness! I need to stop wearing low cut shirts when we do things. I had to stay very still before the picture was taken, the knife was cold....and uncfortable. Thanks for being fast JeN.

We're just drinkin', nothin' horrible goin on. They were very liquidy daquiri's though. oh and my kitty liked them too. At least...the straws anyway.

A picture of a daquiri, Lauren took it. It's very artsy looking and makes me think of vaginas. Or well...any internal organ that could be pinkish really.

A relatively normal picture...for us anyway.

JeN started it, so we all followed, we were supposed to look frightened, i look...sad....and very red faced....*sigh* But they look frightened. so it sorta worked right?

It's a given we always get a picture of the three of us. It's better now cause we can use a timer, instead of trying to aim and point the camera at ourselves from awkward contorted positions. The picture turned out much better than it normally does.

We wanted to take a silly picture of the three of use, let me tell you to get even this one was a trial. So you have us, "hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil." JeN, Myself, And Lauren. Ain't we cute?

The end of picture taking. The end of the night (for me any way) and just so all of you know, I'm freakin' exhausted.

There you have it. A night of friends, and the a few pictures where you see my face, and I'm not wearing any make up hardly...so this is really an effort for me. What's more nekkid than a woman without make-up?

A monkey with a shaved bum.

;)
EroticFae

VIDEO GAMES WOO WOO'S AND DAQUIRIS.

2006-02-21T22:51:00.000-05:00

random posting as I sip my "Woo Woo" a drink of raspberry vodka, peach snapps and cranberry juice.....mmm mmm good!

friends are over....we're playing video games (Final Fantasy X!!!!!). I love it. I've missed them, they make nachos as I post randomly,. we hope to finish the game tonight, I dunno though, this may never happen.

hmmm, have to post random pictures from tonight so here goes for now.

ok, so clearly there aren't any photos as I can't figure out whats wrong with my comp. I'll update further on.

fae.

[update] (from JeN) Lauren and I are angry because we are not known by our names but only as "friends". And we thought you loved us more than that : (
BEEOTCH!!!!!

[update] (from fae) I was trying to only update quickly, i felt much like i was ignoring my friend thus the lack of names. I is sooowwwwy!

and now we go to take normal pictures and play more games.

fae.

[update](from fae once more,) Wed. Feb. 22, 2006 4:32 pm

So JeN and Lauren are gone, I'm all crampy and sitting here with a hot bean bag thingy on my lap. I had soo much fun. What with the daquiri's and woo woos....I just like saying woo woo. Well, freaked the freakin' freak of the guys in the video game. it was good times. Until I fell asleep...sort of. Ever been in that state where you want to sleep and don't want to at the same time so your eyes are closed, and you can hear everything, and when you want to say something like "I'm not asleep, not really" You can't cause your mouth refuses to work?

Well thats what happened to me, although I remember livening up enough to tell them how to do a few things. It was interesting trying to talk in the state

"ya gotta take-try-do-go fuck. hafta go down, -" my friends laughter ensues as they make fun of my stuttering gibberish,.

If I get too excited about something, or I'm hyper or drunk, I tend to stutter. It's annoying. But a source of amusement for my friends.

Another source of amusement for my friends is taking pictures of sleeping people. I'll be posting for HNT...I'm thinking it will be the picture I post. I'm well the lack of make up and the fact that my glasses are on is unattractive but for a woman can't be anymore nekkid then when she's wearing no make-up.

Fae

Canadian Winter Joy

2006-02-19T23:48:00.000-05:00

Canadian Winter Joy

Frost tipped trees,
and frozen lakes,
gliding, riding
faster, smoother,
over the snow covered lake.

Fat wet flakes
and whoosing powder,
schushing, rushing
smoother, faster,
over the snow covered lake.

Dark Brown Deer,
slinky minks.
shunning, running
faster, ever faster
frightened off the snow covered lake.

Cold Dark woods,
filtering burning icy light.
astonishing, inspiring,
climbing higher, ever higher,
over this frost tipped world.

A poem I found while cleaning. I tidied it a little and added here and there but basically kept it the same. Hope you enjoy my version of winter up North.

Fae

2006-02-17T12:47:00.000-05:00

I pulled this from Jonathans blog over at....uhm...The Bastard Son....god I feel shittier today but my throat isn't sore...just give me the sore throat get rid of this head shit....

Fae.

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.
You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Clearly this is just showing you how I feel today, not necessarily what I think of romance. The right kind of romance is wonderfull....I just feel like if anyone tries to touch me right now I'll rip their hands from their wrists.

Fae

Johari Nohari...?

2006-02-17T01:21:00.000-05:00

I got these from Tess who got it from Daemon who pulled it from someone else etc. etc. tell me who I am.

Fae

The Good Stuff

The Bad Stuff

I'm sorry i didn't credit proprely...tired and icky feeling....now it's time for beddy byes.

Fae

2006-02-17T00:25:00.000-05:00

I know I know I'm late with my HNT. I'm sick, I'm sluggish....I've bombed this week. But I give you all my last favourite feature. Well one half of it anyway ;)

I'm showing my...left eye I think...possibly I'm saying my lft as it is darker on the top where the pigment is changed in my eye. My eyes are blue-grey, and the top part of my left eye is brown...My sister has always told me I was weird because I have a freckle in my eye. That's when I learned to take insults and make them compliments.

i.e. Unknown: "You're eye is weird!"

Me: "I know isn't it great?!"

And this is what I do to pictures when I am bored.

But I'm not feeling so hot...little dizzy really...glassy eyed....ugh I hate flus....
anyone have some orange juice? (Or as I would be saying it "ehnyone hab orange jous?"

leave me note if you listened to my blathering,. I like the comments.

Fae

Do you believe? - Petter Pan

2006-02-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

I do. I believe so much that I collect things most people think of as fantastical, or magical or simply impossible. Nothing in life is impossible.

When I was seven, my best friend at the time (I'll call her...Becca.) and I believed whole heartedly that faeries lived in the tiny holes in the snowbanks. How else would those holes get there? (It was about three years later when I saw the salt truck and the small holes the pellets of salt left. I still like to think the salt makes the home and the faeries just live there.) We would make paper clothes in class and take them and leave them in the holes for the faeries to find. It was very cold how else would the survive? I even remember putting tiny furniture in some bigger holes for them.

I was seven, and I have a very active imagination.

Now I collect faeries. Dragons, well I only have one dragon, thanks JeN! And a whole lotta faeries. I'll start showing some of them sooner or later ;) Today you get to meet two of them. My newest, and my second oldest (I couldn't reach my first faerie) their names are Berrie and Wysh respectively. Wysh is my Bubble Fairy (thats what her certificate calls her Bubble Fairy...how original). Bubbles are a kind of wish, they always make me think of Cinderella and the song, "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes". Kind of silly isn't it?

Berrie is my newest addition. When I noticed her painting the berries on the grass around her red I fell in love. Certain aspects of the figurine make me fall in love with them. It's usually not in the face, some other part, the leaves Wysh stands on, the fruit Berrie paints, the hug Clover bestows upon herself. Just little things, well....without anymore romantic nonsense or fantastical silliness. Here you are. Berrie and Wysh!

EroticFae

HNT - Tess Asked for it. So, Why not give it to her?

2006-02-09T00:03:00.000-05:00

Tess, you said more boobies. So here goes.

My favourite Tshirt - or at least one of them.

This is what I wear under my shirts,

And this is what Tess can do for me when I ask very nicely,

Yes, one of my most favourite-est traits. My breasts. They're large, but not too large. They bounce and jiggle when they're supposed to. Now, if only I could pick names for them.

;) Fae ;)

blurbification

2006-02-08T17:02:00.000-05:00

I've added a new link to the left. "Faes Writings," Pretty Self explanatory right? I thought so.

Anyone know how to get those pain in the butt symbols out of posts? or from where my links are at the bottom of My Stories page? I'd appreciate any help I can get.

Fae

Tonight I write, not with the Muse of Fae, but the Muse Calliope upon Me.

2006-02-07T23:24:00.000-05:00

Editors Note: Everyonce in a while you meet a new person. They might be kind, well mannered and generally they won't affect you in any way. The rest of the time the person will do, or say, or write something that makes you think, wonder, giggle, laugh, cry, tear up, crave to hug them, feel bad for them, worry for them, makes you want to be there when the pieces they've tried so hard to put together again fall apart so you can help them carry on. I've not met any of the people I'm currently thinking about, well except for Jen and Lauren (pronounced Lore-ehn not Lore-in get it right people), but you've all made me look deeper, stretch farther and whether you know it or not you've helped me start learning about who I am.

G, you've been patient with me, and Kind probably more kind than I deserve from a Master some days. Because of you I know what I deserve. I'll never settle for anything less.

Jen and Lauren, I can be a nasty bitch at times particularly when I'm pms-ing, but you've never taken anything from me that I haven't been willing to give. You have my love, and my strength for whenever you need it. You are the sisters of my soul. You once said I was the key to your friendship, and as sappy as that was at the time this is probably a million times worse! *Laughs a little* You guys make me happy when I don't want to be, drive me crazy when I need to be and are just generally pains in my ass some days. The rest of the time, you allow me to be me. No pretenses, no make-up required, and video gaming included.

Tess, I haven't known you for very long but you've shown me more than you could know. *Smiles softly* You're a beautiful woman, inside and out. Never doubt yourself.

Magdelena, your writing is so introspective, intellectual and inspriring. I may not always comment, but I always read and take away from it what I can. I keep hoping that one day I'll be as eloquent as you are, you've said before that I already am eloquent, maybe it's one of those things that you can't ever actually see in yourself?

Jericho, I just found you last Thursday through the comment you left on my HNT post. Your words, astound me some days. Other days they just merely make me think. *giggles,* Merely. To be able to inspire a person is a great challenge, to be able to inspire a person after having read only three maybe four of your posts is the intellectual equivalent of climbing Mount Everest to me at this moment. So I thank-you.

Osbasso, as I thank you, so you should thank Tess. You don't even know why do you? I thank-you for the opportunities to see myself differently. Not as a whole, but fragmentedly. In pieces, the arch of a neck, the rounded abdomen, plump pursed lips, a body stretched out on a bed with pale cream skin and strawberry blond hair. As a whole I've never been attractive. *Puts a hand up to quiet down the crowd,* At least now I'm starting to realize that's not entirely true. The HNT project is helping me realize that, meanwhile I get to see how big an exhibitionist I am AND have fun! (You have to thank Tess cause she told me all about it, HNT that is. Well you don't have it's just...I would if I were you I mean you'd only have 500 people doing HNT's instead of 501 right? ;) )

There are many others that I have not mentioned here tonight, if your blog is listed on the left hand side I read you, I take from you what I decide to take. If my comments seem, outlandish or crazy, just know that you are seeing a side of rarely seen by others (I'm refering of course to my comment on Silent Mysts post the other night about the light bulb and toilet training. An odd mood came over me. Perhaps I was possessed). If I don't comment, well then I lurk don't I. I'm such a bad girl. At any rate, after this huge post I don't know if I have the energy to tell you what brought this on. but I guess I should so you should know there's nothing to worry about. I am not writing a suicidal good bye to my online friends.

I am. at peace. happy. content. I feel. Good.

I haven't felt this way in a long, long, long time. I can write again, I don't struggle to reach those words they flow off my fingertips before I can hardly think them. Part of it probably has to do with the massage therapy I had today. Another part of it has to do with what I've learned about myself. I am smart, I am wasting my life where I am working right now. I will one day be published, not because I say I will, but because I am good at what I am writing. Yes, you will get to read it....I'll be posting it somewhere and soon well as soon as I find the right background for it.

My mind is whirling. I have so much I want to write about and now that I've started writing it all I can't seem to pick one out. *takes a deep breath to center herself* Well, here's a taste of my writing. Of what I do so well.

**********

A Writers Dream

i lay in bed and dream
of things that dont exist
i close my eyes and see
women made of mist
men weild swords of flame.

i write my thoughts in words
hiding them in shame
my business is my own
(a waste of time some may think)
In this I am alone.

a pure raw talent
colouring vividly with words.

others paint on canvas.
a pencil a paper they draw me in.

the words of yeats frost barrettbrowning and carroll
romantic and depressing
uplifting.

words can heal our souls
keep wounds from festering
words keep us sane
tender lyrics seal a kiss
lips never touching
jarring words end a fight
without being said

the gift of
a writer
to you

the talent of
a poet
to the world

painting our lives
for you.
never picking up a brush.

EroticFae (with the help of a Muse or two.)

P.S. Does anyone know what kind of a bird flies through the window in Margaret Laurences "A Bird in the House" I can't remember if it is a Crow or a Raven. I'd like to know so I can comment on Lena's blog...but I fail to remember. ~Fae

Random Joke Day

2006-02-03T10:57:00.000-05:00

~*~An Email My sister sent me that made me chuckle *~*

Martin, Harper and Layton are flying on the Executive Airbus to a gathering
in British Columbia when Martin turns to Harper and says, chuckling, "You
know, I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now and make someone
very happy."

Harper shrugs and replies, "Well, I could throw ten $100 bills out the
window and make ten people happy." Not to be outdone, Layton says, "Well I
could throw a hundred $10 bills out the window and make a hundred people
happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his co-pilot, "Such arrogant asses
back there. Hell, I could throw all three of them out the window and make
32 million people happy."

EroticFae

Just so you can see, the part I Dislike about me.

2006-02-02T00:05:00.000-05:00

We all have the bits we like, and the bits we don't. The hard part is coming to grips with what we don't like, and how to accentuate those we do to minimize those we don't. Y'know?

Oh and just as a reference point and so that everyone is clear on this fact.

Men, are confusing. They will always be confusing. And I, short of moving to New Zealand, a prospect which is looking more attractive everyday, seem to be headed down the path of spinsterhood. In which, I, of course will be the crazy little old lady that drives like a maniac and has a house full of cats, that will one day have to feast on my dead body for weeks before I am found.

But for right now, I just wish I could be a young woman of loose morals able to pass her affections to any guy who wants them just so that I can get them in return. But alas, I can't....won't really cause....well I just won't. I need to feel something for someone first. More than lust too....well...at least friendship....god I confuse myself.

Fae

The beginning of a fantasy, with the ending that just popped into my head and made me giggle.

2006-01-31T23:09:00.000-05:00

She sits at the computer desk, tip-tapping away at the keyboard. Diligently looking at the screen instead of down at her fingers as they try to find the right keys. He would be so proud to see her typing and not looking.

He wouldn't be home for another few hours so she was trying to get more written on one of her stories. He would proof it for her after dinner and fix and spelling or grammar mistakes for her. She always hated doing that part. She ran her fingers through her messily bundled hair, a stress movement, she always scratched like that when she couldn't get the wording quite right. She took a sip from the bottle of water she kept nearby on the desk and as she tilted her head back she saw a flash, and the bite of cold steel as it pressed against her throat. Choking on the water and trying to scream the bottle of water fall and splashes on the carpeting.

"Don't move, Don't scream." The throaty voice sounded just next to her ear and she whimpered and cringed away from the mouth, the mans tongue flicking lightly at her earlobe. She nodded her head slightly trying to back off from the knife, he pressed it tighter to her, "I want you to stand, slowly, and face the wall to your right. The mirrors behind you at the moment will tell me if you try to look at me. You will not like the consequences if you try that. Understand," It was said as more of a statement than a question but she responded just as she should.

"Fuck you asshole!" It was said shakily and her attempt to struggle away was made as whole heartedly as it could have been. Maybe it was the fear riding her that made her this inept, she had taken self-defense she should be able to take this guy down. He slammed her face down into the computer desk, ripping the chair away from her he leaned over her. His erection pressed against her ass, he was hot hard, and very definately enjoying himself.

"You should have listened bitch!" He bit the words off as he forced her face into the desk, the wood rubbing against her cheek her body held there with only one hand, she tried to raise herself up, and he slammed her back down. "Now, you'll have to pay the piper darlin'" She could tell he was smiling, it was in his voice. Gravely and demanding, thats how she would describe it. He was a man who knew what he wanted and he wasn't used to disappointment. He pressed a piece of black cloth to the side of her face, just by her eyes, and shewhimpered softly. She really didn't think she would like her eye sight hampered by anything. He tied it around her face, covering her stormy eyes. It was a pity, he thought, they were so pretty when the darkened in anger or fright.

He gripped her arms, fingers bruising her ivory flesh and he shoved her out of her writing room and towards the stairs, her pushed her up them making her stumble, and crack her toes on the wooden boards, when she cried out all he did was curse and push her up them faster. When he had her in the bedroom he pushed her down on to the bed, it had a head board and no footboard, in a matter of a minute he had both her arms tied to the head board. She struggled long and hard for a few moments, but he slapped her a few times and she quieted, her body shivering and trembling as tears leaked down her cheeks.

His palm showed clearly on her left cheek, and his hand still stung a little from the force of the slap.

He grinned softly and pressed his hand against her throat starting to cut off her air supply, as his other hand moved down to cup her through her pajama pants. he smirked, you must really like it rough baby...you're all wet and *He looked down and grinned as her hips ground up into his fingers, almost begging him to rub back. He removed his hand, leaning down breathing hot air over her neck, and sinking his teeth into her flesh, hard, bruising but not quite drawing blood.

She bucked wildly under him half screaming and half moaning as he sucked the bitten area, soothing it a bit. He took the knife he had carried in his pocket up the stairs, and used it to slice away the pajamas. He scratched the steel lightly over her belly and she whimpered as it cut a thin ribbon of flesh open just above her belly button. He grinned at her and then frowned as the phone rang.

"Bloody Hell." He answered "Hello?" His voice softer and kinder. "Yes, Mum we're home, Dinner? Well, I suppose we could make it....what time? 6:30?" He paused a moment to look at her lying on the bed. "That's only a half an hour from now Mum. i don't kn-...oh...well yes if it's that important we'll be there, you'll have to give us a few minutes to dress though, don't expect us much before 6:40 ok? Love you too. Yes Mum, oh all right! Mum says Hello hon,"

"Hello Mrs. G!" She called from the bed. After he hung up, she asked "Do you think she knows when were doing this? It's the third time she's interrupted us doing this!" He snickered.

"We'll just have to try again later pet. I'm sure you won't mind all that much," She smiled under the blindfold.

"Yeah, you just have to surprise me better next time."Widening her grin as she heard his moment of stunned surprise.

"You weren't-"

"Not in the slightest,"

"How did you-?"

"My little secret," She couldn't let him know all of her little secrets, even if he was her Master. It would ruin half the fun.

A slightly older Picture.

2006-01-25T23:47:00.000-05:00

It's not one of my favourite features on myself, but it is however one of my favourite places to linger, to touch, kiss, nibble, bite, and rest my head...on someone else of course. Though if someone was to linger, touch, kiss, nibble, bite or rest their head here on me, I would definately be amenable.

Yes, the area between neck and shoulder is just where I mean. The collar was purchased just about two months after I first met G. The picture was taken for him, and I know he enjoys it, but do the rest of you think?

A Plethora Of Games for You and I.

Treat Me
Bite Me,
Tease Me,
Spank Me,
Coddle Me,
Spoil Me,
Screw Me,
Hold Me,
Fuck Me,
Use Me,
Hurt Me,
Stroke Me,
Tickle Me,
Caress Me,
Massage Me,
Love Me.
Once it's all over and done with,
won't you let me,
Treat You the same?

EroticFae

2006-01-24T00:42:00.000-05:00

Got this off of Lil Bit's site. Thought it was different. So..uhm. yah.

Go wild, let me know what ya'll think.

~Fae.

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

No colour, no organization...I'm icky feeling so suck it up.

2006-01-22T22:06:00.001-05:00

The Killer Headache from hell.

As I recently told G...

*Snuggles,* I feel icky. (to be followed shortly thereafter by this brief explanation) I have the headache from hell to go along with the cramps from hell to go along with the lack of sleep because of the nightmares from hell

God, you would not believe the dreams I've been having. I don't know why I'm having them now as I've gotten back into reading Nora Roberts, who btw writes romance. I haven't read any Max Haines for over a week and the nightmares are just beginning. He writes about True Crime. So Paul and Karla....the lady in the maritimes that shot and killed her common law husband and was the first woman to get off murder charges on what was later to be the battered spouse syndrome. The guy that talked two people into coming her from britain just so he could kill them and collect the money they were going to pay him for the land he was selling...but wasn't really selling, just so he could pay off his debts. Of course, the details are a little more morbid....oh oh how about the guy that murdered his wife in front of their six children while they were away for the summer working at a saw mill and then proceeded to take her to the saw mill, whereupon the children never saw their mother again. Although once they were grown and not afraid their father would kill them they spilled the beans on him and the oldest son said he could hear his Mother crying as his father dragged her past the window. All so he could shack up with another woman.

People are disgusting. And because I have a morbid fascination with stuff like this I have been having crazy dreams. Let's see, theres one where I'm in my house and a serial killer is trying to find me, and I'm trying to get out as quickly and quietly as I can, I'm in my barefeet wearing a nightdress....and I can't be quiet because the blood in the carpeting is squelching through my toes, I hear him laughing and as I turn around I see the flash of an axe about to bury itself, if not in my head then in the doorjamb of my dining/living room area. I wake up then.

Of course as soon as I close my eyes theres the guy thats grinning maniacally at me and rips his face off with his own hands...his actual face...not just a mask...his skin, flesh, muscles....everything...quite the mess gets sprayed when someone does that.....although considering the amount of zit pus my brain threw in I'm sure there was really too much, I mean you can't end up looking like Carrie at the prom from just one face being ripped off.

Then of course there's the dream where some guys going after my neice and nephew. I try to protect them and end up getting a hatchet to the face.....I wake up then too. Then I close my eyes and think of birthdays cakes with candles...and I see my cottage burning down, so I think of numbers...1...2...3...10...12...13....dead face floating in the water...oh look it's me..wake up time! so I close my eyes...happy thoughts...peter pan....flying...falling...falling no parachute...sma-wake up. Close my eyes again to try it over....oh there I am strung up like a pig on a spit...the giants are carrying me over that big rope bridge about 50,000 feet above a roaring river. Im' struggling and one of them plunges a knife into my neck...I wake up yet again....I'm lying in bed next to someone....but...they're sitting up I can tell because I can't feeltheir body all the way down the side of me I open my eyes and a pillow crashes down ontop of my face. Wake up, close my eyes and see myself being violently ill from arsenic poisoning. Open my eyes and pound my pillows a bit. Roll over and after counting and thinking happy thoughts get back to bed...then the alarm goes off...I get to go to work now. Yea. *said with a deadpan face and absolutely no enthusiasm*

I spent the day at work with a headache from creepy dreams, cramps from hell, a stomach that was starting to get persnickety cause it's deciding i feed it the wrong stuff again. tired as hell and now I feel cranky cause my head feels...huge, blown up...disproportionate (is that a word and did I spell it right?) to the rest of my body....it feels slightly coneheaded and bulbous to the right hand side at the back. And the pulsing pain brehind my eye doesn't help.

Oh did I mention I've been getting back pains? Lower back, between my shoulder blades....middle of my back...everywhere really. So...Hows that for someone who rarely complains about hersel

EroticFae

Two for the price of one,

2006-01-19T00:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so for this week I couldn't decide which was better so I'll put up both and let you choose.
Oh and of course moving on with the features theme, my next Two features are my skin and hair, my curly strawberry blond hair....completely natural guys. And my pale creamy skin with rosy undertones, you can't tell but I keep it silky smooth. So theres two more of the features I like best about myself.

One...

and Two...

So what'd ya think? Am I making good use of my new digicam? ;)

Eroticfae

Addictions

2006-01-17T16:58:00.000-05:00

Ed. Note: This was meant to be a comment to JeN's post on smoking, and as i wrote, and wrote, and wrote I realized I could not just post it in her comments box. So Jen, here is my response to you. It may not be one many understand, but I understand it...and really, does anything else matter? E.F

Addictions are scary things. A person can be addicted to any one of a million different things. Many of my family members are drinkers and smokers. When I was little, yes littler than I am now, my mom and dad both smoked, my mom quit cold turkey and a few years later so did my dad. My dad however subsititued. He was an alcoholic. A good one too as I was kept unaware for many years. Then He got sick while away for work. He got sick, and he started smoking. Which aggravated the illness. For the next five almost six years he smoked off and on while he was in and out of hospitals and ICU's. and off and on oxygen. My uncles helped him by buying him the cigarettes. They would sit and have a smoke with their brother or brother in-law.

My Daddy is dead. He was alcoholic and a smoker to his dying day because when you are addicted to something you never stop being addicted. You stop doing it yes, but you'll never be free of the addiction, its one of the reasons they're so hard to kick. I keep a bottle of Fireball Whiskey in my bedroom. It's half finished. And I have never taken a sip of it since it was put in my room.

Alcoholism is hereditary, a person with an alcoholic parent is more likely to become alcoholic than another with a family of non-alcoholics.

The fact that I grew up with most of my uncles and aunts being smokers means that when I do drink, I get cravings for a cigarette. I have twice taken drags from someone elses cigarette. They were smooth, and sweet and I could understand why people liked it. I just liked the way it looked in my hand. I handed one back and resisted temptation the rest of the night, the other was done after my drag so I tossed it on the ground and snuffed the light out with my foot which gave my a little thrill and I've never asked for one since.

My sister used to smoke. She quit just before Daddy died.

He wasn't there to walk her down the aisle, or to see me graduate, or to hold his grandchildren. He wasn't here for his 30th anniversary with my mom he died in July of 2000 the anniversary was Novemeber.

The knowledge of what he is missing, of what my niece and nephew are missing, of what I miss every day and the knowledge that I liked smoking just a little too much, that I could have a drink before I go into work just feel a little happier is what keeps me from doing it. I am strong as a person. I have to be strong, I have to be able to function properly for my mother, for my sister and for my friends just in case they need me.

I quite often want to break down, to be selfish and to take that drink in the middle of the afternoon and...it scares me. I see my uncles, unable to function 100% because of heart attacks and multiple strokes. I see another uncle whose marriage is falling apart because he traded in his addiction for alcohol for an addiction to AA meetings, and the church.

I will not be like the rest of my family. I will not succumb to that temptation. I can't. Otherwise the person you know that is writing this, will no longer be.

I am strong.
I am small, but I am mighty.

EroticFae

Born Lippy

2006-01-11T22:11:00.000-05:00

Of Course I'm no Angelina or Jennifer Garner for that matter, but for this weeks HNT, I decided to post what I feel is one of my more attractive attributes. Not my best feature, but definately in the top five.

On another note, I've been thinking of creating a...sub-blog...purely for posting HNTs and keeping everything else separate. Same with my List of a 100. *Sigh,* Hmmm, I always feel the need for something new.

Speaking of new, should I tattoo, or pierce? I've been thinking nose, or belly button if I can tighten my belly by summer. for piercings of course. Tattoos...I want an arrow, (symbol for sagittarius) and a Triquetra (symbol in Charmed,) What to choose? Should I even decide to do it of course. Oy, I'm tired and feel like I'm beginning to get infected. A sore throat, slightly stuffy nose...huge headache...oh to be snuggled up in bed....indeed. I'll be off then, to snuggle in flannel sheets, under a goose down duvet with very malleable pillows to sink my head into.

EroticFae

A re-post from the fall.

2006-01-09T22:52:00.000-05:00

Editors Note: Ok, so Tess's latest post on beauty made me want to repost to see what new kinds of reactions I get. Although I don't really know why it made me think of this post, and at the end I will post the original comments, So here goes.

Originally Posted September, 18th 2005
Have you ever woken up one morning and realized the seasons have changed?

Have you been able to smell the difference in the air? From Spring to Summer and Summer to Fall, the difference is so minute that we tend to overlook it but if you stop to think about it the changes are magnificent and at the same time horrible.

I woke up the other day and new it smelled different from the day before. It smelled like death. I knew the season was truly changing then, not because the days were getting shorter or even cooler. It was that cloying scent of death that clings to your tongue with a bittersweet tang. You could smell the rotting leaves on the trees even before they started to fall and it made me wonder if trees feel like cancer patients. Can they feel themselves beginning to rot and losing their leaves? Trees get sick like humans do the only difference is that we can't talk to the tree to find out where it hurts.

I only have to look at our last remaining peach tree in our backyard to know its in pain. How can it not be? It's split up through the middle and has reddish gold sap leaking constantly as it tries to heal itself. The ants were crawling all over it this summer trying to get at the sweetness. Taking away the healing agents to eat so they could survive but in turn helping finish off the last tree of my dad's. The last tree he had planted and one of the last gifts we gave to him for Father's Day. Now the leaves aree turning colours and beginning to fall from it and does it feel it like another attack? Or does it just slowly accept its fate to die so that it can revive in Spring to continue its ugly battle with its illness. Maybe if Cancer patients could do that they would get better?

Bears begin to go into hibernation soon, crawling into caves and burroughing down for the winter to wake up in spring having given birth to cubs. Or maybe not, perhaps the poachers will come and shoot them for their hides...or rather the money they could get for them. Some deer lose their antlers or part of them, and pregnant Does walk around unaware that hunting season approaches. Sometimes if the Hunter's are knowledgeable enough they'll be able to tell if one is pregnant or if one is too young to die yet..."let it go this year, He'll be bigger next year. More Meat."

Our world around us slowly dies until it's covered with a crystalline blanket of white. When you're inside and warm you could almost believe something so beautiful would be warm and fluffy, instead of bitterly cold and often times crunchy. "It's good snow for snowmobiling", "Let's go skiing!?", "Let's go out and make a snowman!" Is this maybe just our way of making the best out of a bad situation? Our world is dead, granted the snow will melt, warmth will return and our trees will regrow their lost leaves. Only to have to lose them again in a few weeks.

Over the past few days I've taken time to truly appreciate some things I never thought to. I won't tell you what they were for that would take the fun out of your own experiences with the seasons, but have you given thought to what Mother Nature must go through? Or have you just been thinking about your own daily lives and the problems that lie within?

I continue to think that I am slowly dying, beginning with that which I feel is most important to me. My creativity drains away so slowly and I forget the words I know are inside me. I have to write quickly otherwise they are gone and forgotten, like the leaves that were lost last fall.

Comments:

This made me think of the Disney movie "Ferngully". I cried when I saw that. The way Krista could feel the way the rainforest was dying all around her.
Seasons are like the phoenix. Winter brings cold, ashy death, until spring comes to give brith to everything anew.

I suppose if one believes in the afterlife or reincarnation then one does not have to be afraid of dying. Spring will come again for you.
JeN

As someone morally opposed to any season other than summer, this post has left me monumentally depressed.
Jay

EroticFae

More Randomnity + An Epiphany

2006-01-09T02:22:00.000-05:00

Random Thoughts that came about because of New Years:
I need to keep my room Clean this year.
Fuck! Why do I keep shaving?! I should just go get a brazilian Wax and be done with it.

Personal Outlets;

Writing,
Excercising - Including trying to keep up with some karate/kickboxing moves on my own
Talking over things that mean the most to me with someone important, yes G. You.
Meditating,
Yoga,
Reading.

To Do List of 2006:

Kate Beckinsale,
Heath Ledger,
Jake Gyllenhaal
ORLANDO BLOOM
JOHNNY DEPP
RUPERT GRINT
Emma Watson
Ryan Gosling,
Shawn Ashmore,
Holly Marie Combs,
Alyssa Milano,
Rose McGowan, (Can you tell I like Charmed?)
Brian Haus(e) (sp? also from Charmed)
Harrison Ford,
G, of course!*Stares off into space momentarily,* ...oops uhmm..sorry...*shifting in my seat,*
*a small ount of time passes*
*My jaw drops...*Sorry I'm...Msn-ing with G and...just wrote something that honestly stuns me...I'm almost in tears because of it and...wow...Christ ok hang on.

Ok, ever had the kind of jaw dropping realization that if you'd have been standing you would have fallen on your ass? I have..just now. Ok. So Here's my conversation with G on msn, maybe you'll get what I'm trying to say. Maybe you won't. You don't have to read it, you can just leave after the previous randomnity, but this just adds to it.

So here you Go.

G: Hey baby (K) sorry I missed you earlier - at work...
EroticFae: *Hugs you tight* Hey, God I missed you last night, I so wish you could have been here
G: *huggggs* why baby?
EroticFae: I went to a dark Rave
G: a dark rave?
EroticFae: *Nods,* A rave with lots of Goths, fetishists etc.
G: ahhhh - kk
G: fun?
EroticFae: G: Tons, I wanted to dance with you, I wanted to have a collar on for you....*Snuggles,* I wanted you
G: *cudddddddddddddles you close*
EroticFae: *Hugs,*
G: guess what?
EroticFae: What?
G: I booked my ticket!
EroticFae: Yeh!
G: hehe
G: uh-huh
EroticFae: *Climbs on you* That's awesome! When do you get off work?
G: hehe - fairly soon - I'll prolly close up and clean up in the next few mins
G: *cudddddles you*
EroticFae: *Cuddles back,* ....Can you call tomorrow?
G: I can do my best, my pet
G: timing?
EroticFae: Mmm, (:30 would be best, but anytime between then and 3.
G: 9:30 - was that?
EroticFae: yes, whoops. Sorry Babe
G: hehe
G: kk
G: I'll see what I can do (K)
EroticFae: *Hugs you close and whispers in your ear,* You need to post! *biting gently*
G: hehe - I just not a big fan of posting... :P
EroticFae: Yeah Yeah.
G: I'm not
G: :P:P
G: seriously, you and like 3 other people read it...
EroticFae: I know. It pains me. *hugging you*
G: why does it pain you?
EroticFae: So what does that have to do with anything? I just...wish you liked it.
G: why baby? I have trouble seeing why it is important to you...
EroticFae: Writing is my outlet, where I can say anything, I just,....can't understand how others don't write,...very narrowminded is it not?
G: I do write sometimes... but when I do, it is intensely prviate
G: *private
EroticFae: *nods,* I can understand that
G: but I have other outlets as well... for me, listening to the right music is an outlet
G: I will choose music so specifically, because someone else has expressed my emotion better than I ever could
EroticFae: I haven't found anything other than a poem that I felt that strongly about
G: whereas the right piece of music can reduce me to tears
EroticFae: Music has never done that for me. well, no I'm sorry, Daddy's Hands, and My Baby thinks He's a Train and 7 year ache, but all after my dad passed away ....the last two were his favourites
G: [hug] there are definitely tracks like that too... ones that take me to a time or place
G: but there are also the tracks where the words, coupled with the music, form a complete emotion, encapsulate me
G: brb - closing the store
EroticFae: I don't get that kind of a connection with music. ok
G: back'
EroticFae: front?
G: see, to me music is poetry...
G: uh-huh - quite fond of your front ;)
EroticFae: *laughs,*
EroticFae: To me Music is a distraction, something to make time go faster, to take my mind off stupid things etc.
G: its just different for different people, I guess (K)
EroticFae: Probably. I write because...I haven't found anything definitive of me....Nothing I can believe in. Trust. or connect with really....wow...holy epiphany of the decade Batman
EroticFae: Babe....can I post our convo in my blog?
G: sure hon - if you'd like (K)
EroticFae: I've....*Wiping my eye,* God....I didn't...know that...
G: I don't have anything which truly defines me.. but there are tracks which express individual emotions
G: didn't know what?
EroticFae: That I don't beleive in anything, that I dont truly trust in....anything other than....the words I put in writing...Like,....I feel something but ...until I can express it in writing...I don't really know it.....*Biting my lip,* It's true....I write and it..pours out me but sometimes I don't think about writing I just go...and it's there I read it over and its....truth. Its....a piece of me.
EroticFae: *leaning back in my chair,*
G: *cudddddddddddles you* and that's what makes your writing azing, pet... it has the true feeling of genuine honesty
EroticFae: But how can I be that honest with my writing...but not with myself?
G: because when you write you don't think about whether its honest
G: you dont self-censor
G: as you said - you dont think about it...
EroticFae: *Folding my legs under me on the chair,* I've never understood people who self-censor, its ...stupid. You think something so it should be put out there.
G: but you may do it subconsciously...
EroticFae: And you probably need to close up and get home, I'll wait for you so we can talk some more ok? oh I'll also post on my blog
G: if you don't like your own ideas, you may refuse to accept them, mentally
G: (K) (L) kk sexygirl
G: I'll be home in about 20-30 mins
EroticFae: *Nods,* I'll try and stay up for you. *Kissing your cheek softly* thank you....

So there you have it folks, thats what I was talking about when I said Epiphany.....does it count?

EroticFae

A brief beginning to a story and HNT.

2006-01-05T01:00:00.000-05:00

The fog had settled earlier in the evening, around 10pm. It made the walk home interesting, she huddled in her brown suede trenchcoat. Her hands were stuffed inside her pockets and she made short and quick steps, clearly she was used to walking with people much taller than herself.

Lights loomed out the shady gray and passed her along the road, the lights from the lamp posts were miniscule and really not worth the elecricity that was being wasted on them. Half burned out lights flickering in a dense fog. Do you really expect them to work?

She could hear people talking and laughing on the other side of the street, they sounded half drunk and she shook her head. 12:15 am on a Wednesday, it's just not right. She pulled her MP3 player headphones out of her pocket and placed the earbuds in, and turned it on, wincing as it turned on full blast. It's amazing how loud you get used to something when you're trying to drown the sounds of a gym (which plays what they call music)out.

Turning the music down and picking up the pace slightly, she walks faster. She's always hated walking alone at night. It's not a matter of fearing being kidnapped or raped or anything, it's walking alone in the middle of night. Hey, it's a phobia, who says it has to make sense?

Stuffing her hands back in the pockets, hunching her shoulders a bit she tries to block the wind that is just starting to move in, from her ears. She lets out a large sigh and the air clouds in front of her face, just as if she had let out a lungful of cancerstick. She giggled a little and let out a breathy "Hah!" Just to watch it cloud. Smiling she shakes her head and turns down the street making it one block closer to home.

The hairs on the back of her neck stand up and a hand clamps down hard on her shoulder. Grabbing the hand and bending she throws the man swiftly over her body, she put a lot of effort into it but a black belt in karate didn't hurt either. The man jumped up and lunged at her, a knife glittering in his hand.

He slashed at her and drew first blood. Her hand opened up and began bleeding, she cried out and jerked backwards while he giggled and twirled.

"I gotchoo I did. Wat's the prutty gul goin' ta do now unh? Her soft and genteel hand is all bloodied now," He gigggled again and ran into the fog. She shuddered and withdrew to the edge of the building.

"Leave me Alone!" She cried out, huddling herself into a ball, and rocking back and forth. "please, just leave me alone!" she whimpered a little and looked up as she heard the clacking of high heeled shoes coming her way. There the woman was, fangs dripping with blood as she came nearer.

"We don't want to feed on you dearie, we just want you with us...you'll come you know. Eventually. Why not just give in and come under your own steam, before you get broken like O'keefe did mmm? " Her voice was accented, but much more cultured than the crazy mans voice. Both of them were like Him. The one who kept sending her the dreams. The one who kept coming into her bed at night and laying with her.

The one who scared the shit out of her.

Ok, that's all I've got time for tonight, ohhh and HNT....hmmm well ok G, helped me figure out which one to post as I took like 6 of them tonight after work and I didn't know which to put up, oddly enough he chose this one as opposed to the one where I have no shirt on, perhaps that will be posted at a later Date. Anyway, I'd like you all to meet my new toy, it was a christmas gift from a friend of mine who I met through work. I think I need to name it as well.....Hmm, well JeN any ideas?

Hope you enjoy!

EroticFae

a bitter post, a confused and utterly female post.

2006-01-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

I've Come To Expect It From You - George Strait

So upset, a nervous wreck, can't believe you said goodbye.
Sit and smoke, cry and joke about these tears in my eyes.
How could you do what you've gone and done to me?
I wouldn't treat a dog the way you treated me,
But that's what I get, I've come to expect it from you.

A million times, a million lines, and I bought 'em, every one.
You don't care, you rip and tear every dream I've counted on.
I guess that I should thank my unlucky stars
That I'm alive and you're the way you are,
But that's what I get, I've come to expect it from you.

How could you do what you've gone and done to me?
I wouldn't treat a dog the way you treated me,
But that's what I get, I've come to expect it from you.

I could raise hell, but what the hell
It wouldn't do a bit of good.
Pack and leave, my heart agrees; it seems to think that I should.
There won't be no more next time doin' me wrong.
You'll come back this time to find out that I'm gone,
But that's what you get, you should expect that from me.

That's what I get, I've come to expect it from you.

It's what I get, perhaps bad karma in a previous life is what forces this on me now. I'm confused and yes, hurting once more though I feel pathetic to admit it. I feel like crying all the time. I'm going to the gym again and possibly working harder causing more stress to my body than maybe I would normally, just to tire myself out. So I'll sleep, not think. Not dream.

I've even taken to visiting with "Henri" to take my mind off things. Thats great isn't it? Visit a little battery operated male named stub in order to take my mind off of a perfectly good looking seemingly sweet hetero man.

*sigh,*

Dreams are not restfull things. Neither is self-doubt. I try not to and can't help but do it, am I too fat? Too short? Is my hair too long? Too short? Too red? Too curly? not curly enough? Am I being too hard my self? not hard enough? Should I do this, or that...fuck! Anger and confusion, it's not fair, and I'm starting to feel like none of it is worth it. Like I'm not worth it, and how pathetic is that? when you can think of nothing more important than yourself? Boo...well fuck me sideways with ...with....a giant spiny thing.

Fae

A Not So Hot but Still Kinda Hot Tale.

2005-12-28T23:53:00.000-05:00

She stares at the door. So black against the white of her hand, her fingers, so delicate and tiny. So easily crushed, crunched, folded.

She whimpers and gasps, almost writhing where she stands. Her hand numb and tingly, stuck. The door opens and the crushed digit gapes at her, it would almost look normal if it wasn't for the impression cutting across the skin. She turns her hand and stares at the open wound on the other side. The skin flapping with blood rising to the surface, not quite passing the layer of tissue paper thin skin. She closes her eyes and feels her body waver a little, then she stiffens and walks the path to the drugstore. Holding the hand carefully letting all who cares to see, view the gaping wound.

She gets the antibiotic ointment, some bandages, even contemplates the acid like sting of rubbing alcohol and decides against it. She couldn't handle that right now. In the bathroom she squeezes the ointment on to the bandage and then wraps it around the finger, tricky bastard doesn't want to stay on so she wraps a second around it on the opposite side. Joy of Joys she feels better already.

She rushes to the nearest clothing store and proceeds to spend about sixty dollars on clothing, as tries on the clothing she ignores the thrill, the tingles rising up her back, the feeling of complete relaxation rolling through her veins.

Maybe that's why she didn't mind spending almost eight hundred dollars.

Yes this is how my Boxing Day Shopping began, as soon as I got to the parking lot, my finger...the car door....my pain. I didn't like it much at the time, and I teared up, but no crying was had. Although my mascara ran, apparently the mascara in my stocking stuffer was not waterproof. And if you really want to know what I bought, ask and ye shall receive...the knowledge not the items.

EroticFae

Here ya'll go, have look at my booboo.
Fae.

It looks a lot worse than that and as soon as I can I'll be taking a better pic for ya'll...hey I could post this as an HNT Couldn't I?....it is Thursday after all...what site do I comment on? Would someone comment for me, cause I don't remember....or...you know, leave me a link and I;'ll update it all as soon as I can...ok? Thanks!

Your crazy and tired friend.....Fae.

A whole new side of HNT.

2005-12-22T01:08:00.000-05:00

Ok, so last time you got a bum view, now for your viewing pleasure, a slightly older version. Meaning of course that I've aged..*sigh,* I'm now 22.

Before you know it I'll be complaining about arthritis, and memory-loss...sore bones, and how I ache everytime the weather changes...

In like another 20 years...dear lord, three years and I'm 1/4 of a century....But I guess I'm to be envied right? 22? Must sound good to someone out there? I've started realizing how true the whole "Grass is Greener" thing is.

Anyway, I'm sure you're wanting to see the pic aren't you? *Sigh,* You guys are always after my body.

You know sometimes a girl just wants to talk y'know? How come we never talk anymore? It's because there's someone else isn't there!? *Sob* You've met someone and..oh wait this is just for HNT isn't it?

Oh well, nevermind that then, I'll just get on with it shall I?

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

2005-12-20T01:46:00.000-05:00

Being as Today is my birthday, 22nd to be exact. I decided to research, remember and basically dig up anything I could in astrology and gemstones on ...well my birthdate, So here are just a few things I found

On This Site this is what I found, and most I think is pretty accurate.

Your personal ruling planets are Jupiter and Moon.

You have a buoyant, cheerful disposition and reach out to others in a warm, open, friendly way. Your emotional generosity and lack of pettiness is well known among your circle of friends, and people often seek you out for help, sympathy, or advice. You are always willing to overlook others' faults, and you sometimes overdo your charitableness.

You are emotional about work and health issues usually throwing yourself into the latter, particularly if personal affairs aren't faring too well. It's almost like a substitute for other forms of work. Bigger, Better, More is your motto. But hiding behind your excessive work patterns as a means of escape isn't the way to resolve those issues. You may also become fastidiously pre-occupied with your own abilities and sense of worth. Jupiter often produces a rather large ego - usually with good intentions. But plenty of things that didn't succeed were started with the same good motives. Pursue your goals with passion and compassion, throw in a little modesty and by all means satisfy that part of your character that is attracted to the unusual or curious by nature.

Your lucky colours are cream and white and green.

Your lucky gems are moonstone or pearl.

Your lucky days of the week Monday, Thursday, Sunday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 2, 11, 20, 29, 38, 47, 56, 65, 74.

From This Site I found out my birth number is 8. Which apparently means I am "The Big Shot,"

Here's what they say about all of us "8's" out there.

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grandiose plans and like to live the good life. They are take charge people. They view people objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to base their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others want.

Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce March 18, 1877, Barbra Streisand April 24, 1942, George Harrison Feb 25, 1943, Jane Fonda Dec 21, 1937, Lucille Ball Aug 6, 1911, Pablo Picasso Oct 25, 1881, Aretha Franklin March 25, 1942, Wayne Gretzky Jan 26, 1961

From various sites came the knowledge that my birthday gemstones include, Turquoise, Blue Topaz, Iolite, Tanzanite

Though apparently it used to depend on your culture and of course the era you lived in, if I were say arabic/roman or hebrew it would be ruby.

My guardian angel would be Adnachiel, and his talismanic stone was beryl. This site was most interesting on gemstones, really, go!

Other December birthstones include: Onyx(stabilizes and heals root chakra), Chrysoprase(Self-confidence and spiritual protection), Zircon(increases intuition, durability and steadiness. Eases depression and insomnia.) and Lapis Lazuli(strenghtens the bond between heart and mind).

Christ I'm going to need to buy a lot more jewlery now! *laughs,* ok, I just read that Topaz is the gemstone for a Sagittarian, and that it has a high level for mental clarity, if I were any more...mentally clear(?!) wel..then I wouldn't be walking in a fog most of the time would I? But maybe thats just from not gettin' any.

Ok, so gemstones...lots of meaning and considering both Onyx and Chrysoprase are from the Chalcedony family they both have more than one meaning....Maybe I'll figure out more of them later...Maybe.

From this site I learned what it is to be a Pig...also a Boar...hmm gee, not the greatest way to put it I guess, but there you have it folks, I'm a Pig and a Boar.

Contrary to its rather negative reputation in the West, the Pig of Chinese Astrology may be the most generous and honorable Sign of the Zodiac. Pigs are nice to a fault and possess impeccable manners and taste. They have so much of the perfectionist in them that others may be inclined to perceive them as snobs, but this is a misconception. Pigs are simply possessed of a truly luxurious nature, one that delights in finery and riches (in surroundings, food, lovemaking and otherwise). This Sign believes in the best qualities of mankind and certainly doesn't consider itself to be superior. Pigs also care a great deal about friends and family and work hard to keep everyone in their life happy. Helping others is a true pleasure for the Pig, who feels best when everyone else is smiling.

A Pig with no one around to appreciate its giving nature is a sad sight. Pigs are so magnanimous they can appear almost saintly; this can lead some less-than-well-intentioned souls to stomp all over this Sign, and the bad news is, the Pig will take the blows! Pigs make great companions in part because of their refusal to see the more negative or base qualities in a partner, but that rose-colored view can lead to this Sign's allowing itself to be taken advantage of. Contrary to their seemingly benign dispositions, however, Pigs can be quite venomous in response to being crossed by a lover, friend or business partner.

Pigs are highly intelligent creatures, forever studying, playing and probing in their quest for greater knowledge. They can be misinterpreted as being lazy, however, due to their love of reveling in the good stuff; this Sign could happily spend hours on end making love, napping, taking a long bubble bath or dallying over an incredible spread of rich foods. Pigs tend to make wonderful life partners due to their hearts of gold and their love of family. Even so, Pigs can be rather exclusive, choosing to spend time with those who will appreciate them most and ignore the rest of the populace. Pigs would do well to realize that there's more to life than being needed. When they open up their world to a diverse group of people, they will truly bloom.

The most compatible match for a Pig is the Rabbit or the Goat

On this site, which vaguely reminded me of a few emails I received ....uhmm well like 3 years ago I learned what tree I am.

FIG TREE (the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed, independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

My element: Fire - outgoing

My Quality: Mutable - Versatile. Those two I knew all on my own, *sigh,* I like astrology far too much, oh and the ruling body part, for my sign is thighs....though I really don't understand why, well ok, my lucky day is Thursday, ruled by Thor, who was the thunder and lightening guy, and I do happen to have thunder thighs...so maybe that's why...I doubt it but one never knows.

Oh, and I am born on the Cusp of Sagittarius and Capricorn so I may have some Cap tendencies...but...I really am a Sag at heart.

So, now that you know far too much about Sagittarius, and me. And gemstones. How much are you irritated with my self-indulgent post hmm? C'mon you can be honest, I won't beat you up at all, well ok, not much anyway ;)

EroticFae

A shorty...in all its...tameness.

2005-12-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

She danced in the middle of the crowd. Alone, swaying her body to the rhythm she hears; surrounded by others just like her.

Her hands raised above her head as if in supplication, twisting and causing her purple and green glow sticks to create blinding figure eights. Her hair pulled up off her neck falling in curls, her lips a dark blood red. She was dressed all in black, black flowing blouse, tight black skirt, black thigh high stay-ups with a line down the back of them and black shiny boots which ended just below her knees. She danced with her eyes closed and a soft smile on her face.

She was alluring, and she had no idea. She looked dark, and deadly as she swayed and gyrated, with an innocents smile. The men who were in the proper mind setting thought she was stunning, those who weren't thought she looked like something nice to cuddle with...to hug and say happy meaningless "I love you's" to. The dimple on her left cheek flashed as the song switched and she jumped a little, spinning in circles, her arms waving with the beat.

She danced the night away alone. She walked home afterwards alone, and as she walked in the door in her three-peice work suit she flashed a tame smile at her husband and fluffed her hair as she pulled it out of a bun.

"Hello darling, Rough night, we pulled another all-nighter at the office," She smiled and kissed him softly. Laughing gently as he pushed her up against the wall.

"God I have missed you....I never realized how much I love seeing your smile in the morning," He grinned and kissing the palm of her hand led her downstairs.

"Come with me, I have a surprise for you," She smiled quizzically,

"What's going on?" He put a finger to her lips and told her to close her eyes, leading her carefully into the overlarge family room they didn't know what to do with. He flicked the lights on and she squinted as she recognized the flashing of a strobe light,

"What-?"

"Open them," She opened her eyes and her jaw dropped. The room was made for dancing in, for a private dance for two, or a rave or anything she wanted.

"I've been there with you every night. I know there haven't been as many late nights as you say, and that's ok....but...I want us to be able to do this together, I want to see your smile every morning,"

Smiling up at her husband and clasping her hands in front of herself she laughed heartily.

"This will never be a boring marriage will it?!"

Laughing they came together and christened their room with a dance all their own.

Well what did ya'll think?
EroticFae

HNT

2005-12-15T22:41:00.000-05:00

Ok, so since I keep reading about everyone with their, HNT things, I ffigured I should maybe start. I don't know if I'll always do it, or if I'll be able to post one every week. but I can always try can't I?

Here goes my first try.

Was it as much fun for you as it was for me? I tells ya getting that shot wasn't the easiest...and it's cold in my basement!

EroticFae

2005-12-13T00:40:00.000-05:00

It just hits me.

Comes out of bloody nowhere and

WHAM!

right in the heart, I ache.

I told a co-worker of mine the other day why I won't read the newspaper or watch the news. It's too depressing. I've had far too much shit in far too close a span of time happen and ...if I had to listen to the news or read it. I think I would fall over the edge and be in a crazy house for the rest of my life.

age 7 - Great Uncle Don died. I didn't really know him, but it was really the beginning of the end.

age 10 - I learn what it illness my uncle has had for the past few years. Cancer. I find out what it does. My uncle was given 6 months, he lived for 6 years.

age 11 well....12 really it was the day of my 12th birthday (December) - I'm told early in the morning that my father is in the hospital, the job he was working on in Bogata, Columbia has made him very sick, and the doctors say he's dying. My mother and my aunts sent me balloons to my classroom that day. and I don't think I ever saw my french teacher be as compassionate with any student at any other time then that day when she hugged me.

6 months later he is at home on oxygen, the doctors had given him two weeks. Said he would never walk again, or be off oxygen.

He walked enough to be able to till the garden with my sister holding his oxygen tank. He also managed to get off oxygen for a year or two.

age 12 a few months later (March Break) - My cousin is killed in a freak car accident, where the driver of a truck decided the tractor trailer ahead of him was going to slowly up the hill so he pulled out to pass him and hit my cousins car, and three others. My cousin and one other were killed. My Cousin was 28, he left a wife with two children, A mother, father, and sister and brother behind.
That was the first time I questioned the worth of life.

(Did I really tell people writing is cathartic? Cause it hurts like a bitch right now.)

Age 14 (November) - My Uncle passes away from Liver, and stomach cancers. I couldn't visit him in the hospital. I could remember my Dad, and what I saw, wasn't my father in that room. I couldn't let that happen to my uncle.

Age 16 - After years of battling, my father passes away just weeks from being able to get the lung transplant he needed...I spoke at his funeral.

That was the first time I cried about it. As I was talking about...how much he loved holding the babies in the family, loved snowmobiling and riding toboggans like a genie, and even losing his dentures on the hill when the G.T. started going too fast and he was laughing too hard. I made everyone laugh.

Age 17 - Just a few weeks from my birthday my Sister and my brother in-law get married.

Age 18 - Just a few weeks from my birthday I'm told that my sister is pregnant.

Age 18 - A few days before my birthday I was told my sister was having Twins.

I have a gorgeous Neice and an unbelievably handsome Nephew.

And between all of this, there were still the minor things going on. One uncle was diagnosed with stomach cancer and had to have part of his stomach removed, the same uncle may now be losing his legs.

Another uncle just recently had an emergency triple bypass surgery done...A while back his son was diagnosed with cancer which he has beaten back, an aunt had an emergency hysterectomy, Another aunt was in a car accident and then later had a minor Heart Attack. Her husband (My uncle) has suffered a stroke and has never been the same....another uncle has had numerous minor strokes and ...angina's I guess is what they call them....

This past labour day weekend my great-aunt passed away.
I've just been told today...well yesterday now, that my grandmother has fallen and hurt herself badly.

I just can't seem to get away from it. Whenever something good happens I wait to see when the bad will come because it invariably does.

Maybe this is why I've been pushing away from people. Closing off a little more. Not too mention that everyone else seems to have found their places in their lives and I don't really seem to fit anywhere.

I'm the odd person out, and I know there are people who will say I'm not, that I'm being silly and it's just not true but it is true. It's true because I feel it to be so. Until I can get away from this ache, it will be true.

I just haven't found the way to bypass that feeling, to acknowledge it and say, yes I know you're here and thats ok, but I can't let you rule me anymore.

I haven't found a reason to yet.

I haven't found that person yet, the one that can show me the way.

Until I find me.

There will be no one to show the way.
I've been lost for so long,
I just want a little sunshine to come my way.

over grassy knolls,
and 'round shady bends,
Sunlight should stream through
cotton clouds, or verdant leaves.

Until the sunlight shines my way,
I walk through Stormy nights,
with howling winds,
Thunder and Lightening fights.

Until the Sunlight begins to stream,
Forever will my darkness scream.

I'm drained and tired now. Once again, one tear only, no crying allowed for me. I imagine I'll have the headache from hell in the morning.
Look for the editors note, let's see if I'm right shall we???

Ed. Note: Now that I've slept it all off, I do indeed have a headache, not one from hell but one that is bad enough anyway.

Now I've got Tess talking to me about guys gong down on girls, and other various oral pleasures. Between you and me I think my last comment on her blog made her worry ;) Take care all. ~Fae

Walk the Line - A brief Review

2005-12-12T23:19:00.000-05:00

"An oscar winner, thats for sure. If it's not, then it's fixed!" thats what my cousin said tonight after the movie.

I agree whole heartedly. For Joaquin Phoenix to have gotten all those little habits, the lip curl as he says a certain word or sound, the shrug of his shoulders when he hitches the guitar up a little more, swinging the guitar around to his back...well he must've studied Mr J.R. Cash's movements and speech patterns for ages. I applaud him. His singing was...superb, I couldn't believe that he actually sang everything himself it was so good, and so close to Johnny.

At First I didn't think Reese Witherspoon would make the cut for June Carter, boy did she prove me wrong. She's sure got some talent on her that's for sure. Now, the music clearly won't be to everyones taste but oh man, I was tappin' my foot almost the whole time.

What can I say? I'm a country music lover.

God, the things Mr. Cash went through in his life I couldn't imagine handling. I've had my fair share of tragedies, and heartaches and heartbreaks, but losing a sibling and being told it should have been me dead by my own father? *Shudders,* It was....sad and heart-warming. Interesting to see Elvis, and Waylon Jennings not to mention Jerry Lee Lewis all as they started out.

God can you imagine?

Walking up the rafters stairs, to listen and to watch this beautiful creature you've just met sing her voice away and to here a man say,

"She's sure got some voice on her," You look over and all you can see is the shadow of the man sitting on the couch. You can see the curl of hair pulled forwards over his forehead. Elvis Presley....

God it would have been, a ride that's for sure. A rush like no other. Of course Johnny wouldn't have known who Elvis would become. But just to be out there, doing something with your life, with others who are like you. Singing and talking to a crowd, driving them crazy everytime you open your mouth.

Christ, it's made me miss theatre, even just the amateur stuff...that ride afterwards is enough to keep you flying for hours.

**********

Ring Of Fire
Written by June Carter and Merle Kilgore
Recorded by Johnny Cash on 3/25/63
Number one - County Chart; Number 17 - Pop Chart

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love Is A Burning Thing
And It Makes A Fiery Ring
Bound By Wild Desire
I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire

CHORUS:
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire

I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire

The Taste Of Love Is Sweet
When Hearts Like Ours Meet
I Fell For You Like A Child
Oh, But The Fire Went Wild

CHORUS
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire

I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher

And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire

And It Burns, Burns, Burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire

She wrote it, He sang it. They were beautiful together.

EroticFae

...just a blurb...

2005-12-09T01:00:00.000-05:00

Like attracts Like.

Karma finds Karma,

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,

Life is a cycle, constantly moving, changing and running in circles. Never ending.

There's not always a price tag on what you want, on what someone else may want,

But it may just take a little piece of your soul before it's done and over with.

~*~Fae~*~

Books! My Obsession.

2005-12-07T23:57:00.000-05:00

Books I'm looking out for:

Some are just Fantasy, Some border the horror and even Erotica line. Some are just romance....they're all lovely authors though!

Green Rider 3 by Kristen Britain: As of yet, there is no release date or title ready for it. *cries,* I've been waiting soooo loong!!!

ShadowFall by James Clemens: I just have to find one.

Red Lily by Nora Roberts: Finally came out this month! I can't wait to read it!

Micah by Laurell K. Hamilton: February 2006...*whimpers,* I need a fix of Anita!!!

A Fistful of Charms By Kim Harrison: June 27th 2006....dear lord I don't know if I can wait that long to see what happens between Rachel and Kist, nad the demons and Lily! *Sobs,*

Ptolemy's Gate by Jonathan Stroud: The third in the trilogy, I can't wait! *Sigh,* But I have to, it doens't come until January 2006.

Traitor to the Blood by Barb and J.C. Hendee: Fourth in the NobleDead series....god...so many are coming out!

Well so far that's all I can think of...but I'm sure I'll remember more later.

Fae.

Deviance

2005-12-03T23:48:00.001-05:00

Cookie Cutter People,
with their cookie cutter homes,
living their cookie cutter lives.

Trim, tidy lawns,
Even, square hedges,
White picket fences.

Perfect, clean
The Stepford Queens.

They sleep in separate beds,
Popping their lowers, their uppers,
the disgusting little meds.

Their veneer so shiny,
My visage reflects,
I'm dark, I'm black.
There's no turning back.

I'm viral,
infected.
Your social circle's ruined.

I corrupt,
I taint.
I whip and spank.

You won't notice me there,
in the bottom of their heart.
The lust, the passion.

I'm Deviance,
I rule.

Shut me down, turn about,
I back,
I'm blacker,
I'm deeper,
I'm harder...Stronger...Louder!

Let the Cookie Cutter People,
live their cookie cutter lies.

Urbanstud, Bliatz, I have no idea what happened, but you still managed to eke something akin to disgust and intense dislike for someone I don't know from me. Cool.

I like what I've written and I hope the rest of you out there do too.

Hope you're both well.

EroticFae

A Cop Story

2005-12-03T01:10:00.000-05:00

"Ladies and gentlemen! If you would all ...settle down please? We will get started," A couple of the older cops settled right in, some of the newer ones took a few moments to get seated and after a bit of scuffling the room was settled.

The flourescent lighting was harsh and everyone looked towards a map where various colours of push-pins dotted it. Each colour of push-pin corresponded to a person on the bulletin board a few feet away. Blue for Cinderella, Green for Snow White, Yellow for Rapunzel, Clear for Sleeping Beauty, Purple for Belle, and Black for Jasmine. 6 girls missing in 6 months, at some point during the first month of their disappearance a photograph was left on their bed at their home. With the name written over the face in gold marker. "My Cinderella" , "My Snow White" and on and on this was the seventh month and if some one didn't pick this guy up another girl would go missing.

"Six girls, Six months," The Captain stalked around to the other side of the table and sat on the corner, "What do we know about him?" A young officer at the back, a petite woman, with curly red hair that he'd has his eye on the last little while,
"Yes Cherry?"

"He's dominant, he sees himself as their protector, saviour, their...Prince Charming. Not the Big Bad Wolf that he is, and he certainly doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing,"

"Ok, anything else?" He paused a moment, "Has no one else connected the up swing in the hospitals for treating men with various wounds to this?" Cherry smiled in the back. "Cherry what's wrong?"

"Well, it's not him sir," She said it so matter of factly even the older cops looked back at her and then whipped their heads around to look at their Captain.

"Why not?" He smiled a little and urged her on, to make the connection.

"Well, in each province where he's commited the very same crimes, there was an upswing in male hospitalizations for what looked to be muggings. Though if you looked deeper, each man had a history, marital abuse, sexual abuse, rapes, molestations, child molestations. Didn't matter what the problem was, the man was a predator. Someone, is hunting our hunter," She leaned back in her chair and as though the matter was finished.

"Is this the theory MacDougal wanted you transfered here to supply us with? Cause if that's all then I suppose you can go back because I found that out on my own," The Captain glared at her and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Well then I suppose you won't need me to tell you how to break Red Riding Hoods Code than will you?" She stood and gathered her belongings up, nonchalantly.

"What do you mean?" asked one of the cops in the front row, after looking at the suspicious face of his captain. Cherry looked at the captain and then the cop who put forth the question.

"She surrounds her man by circling him in, or boxing him in first, the first time, in B.C. she spiraled after him, in Saskatchewan she used a diamond, Alberta a sqaure, Manitoba a rectangle. I can only assume that this time she will use a circle as the other provinces don't really have room for anything that large to be used, she traps him in. She follows where he leads her, to the girls homes to their place of business or school. She sniffs him out and just as she's ready to snap him up he disappears. He knows she's there, he knows he's hunted, he's been careful but the women are proving more difficult to break. He can't keep them as long here, they are very probably all dead,"

***********

Let me know guys, shall I continue?

EroticFae

She'd Be There.

2005-12-02T00:53:00.000-05:00

She was 20, and taking computer courses at the local college. It was supposed to be a way for her to meet guys. Well, it would have worked if she wanted to meet guys about to enter the old age home, or on viagra. Other than that, the women in the course must have thought the same thing as none of them really seemed too keen on learning.

Their proffesor was definately the highlight of the evening. Tall about 6" with jet black hair and green eyes. He was a man's man in every sense of the phrase. Muscular without being too bulky, a deep voice without sounding steroidal, and oozing sex. She couldn't help but watch his hands as they flew across the board. Who would have thought a man with hands that large could move them so deftly, she imagined the tips of his fingers fluttering over her clit and whimpered slightly.

He looked over at her, "Is everything alright Maggie?" 'oh god, think of something quick! He's coming over'

"I...I just don't think I'll ever get the hang of this...encoding stuff," She said with a hitch to her voice, she was always nervous when she talked to men. They seemed far too intimidating for her, he just smiled softly and patted her shoulder.

" Maggie, no one has yet failed this course while I've been teaching it. It won't happen in the near future either." He took a quick glance at the screen and pointed uot her mistakes, "They're quick fixes, nothing major, you're actually doing much better this week," She blushed a little and tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear. The curls just made it bounce back out, and she appeared almost frightened at the compliment. She was so nervous she didn't realize the button of her blouse had come undone, or that he was looking straight down it.

"Thanks Mr. MacDougal," She spoke softly and his hand tightened slightly and he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Why don't you stay after class and we'll see if we can't...learn some more shall we? "

"Oh but sir I've got to go catch..." She broke off as she looked up at him. The look on his face made no room for arguments. She would be there.

EroticFae

Ok, I found this on Chasers Site, had to post it...the pic is too great not to.

You are a Fire Queen. You are a Brave warrior and
you know how to fight for yourself and your
kingdom. Your kingdom is very strong and
wealthy. You may get in some wars but
you win and fear nothing!

What kind of Queen are you? ( With BEAUTIFULL pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-12-01T12:01:00.000-05:00

I stare at the wall opposite my bed. I'm curling into the tiny ball I hate so much and trying not cry. Biting my lip until it pains me, unti l that is the reason I cry. It makes so much more sense to cry because of pain.

I've been through so much emotional shit that I just can't handle it anymore.
I'm not your whore.
I'm not your bitch.
I'm not your bootycall.
Is that what you thought from the beginning? Because you said you wanted to be with me again. You said lots of things, and you didn't mean one of them did you?

The only guy who truly wants me for me, lives on the other side of the world and I'm asking him to back away for a bit. It doesn't really make much sense because when I talk to him, he makes me feel good about myself.

I rarely feel that way on my own. I feel numb. Empty.

I don't like the way you fucked me. Mentally or physically, the first was not kind of you, the second really just wasn't that good.

I'm done with being fucked. I'd like someone to be gentle first. To want to take care of me. To realize that I will always write what I feel much more easily than talking about. To understand that no matter what they ask or say, I will write about what I want to write about.

You will not censor me.
I will not censor me.

my fingers have stopped but there is so much more going on inside me and I don't know how to write about it. I'm so lost....all I want is to be held by strong arms, and cuddled for a little while

Strong arms,
comforting,
someone to be my rock.

So I can be fragile.
Just for a little while.

Fast horse,
daring,
someone to carry me away.

So I can run away,
keep some problems at bay.

I see others so clearly, but I can't see myself.

I look into the mirror and its empty.

I call out and I pray,

for my own soldier to come my way.

Someone to wrap their arms around me,
to comfort me,
to be there for me.

Someone who'll let me cry when I won't let myself.
Someone to tell me it'll all be ok at the end of the day.
Someone who will let me be myself, and won't try to change me.

Someone, that at the end of the day, I can trust.

EroticFae

A list of 100.

2005-12-01T02:18:00.000-05:00

1)I'm a redhead. (Natural Strawberry Blonde)
2)I'm short, I don't quite meet a flat 5 foot.
3)People who try and use their height for intimidation are overcompensating. Tall people don't intimidate me.
4)Heights intimidate me. Sheer Drops, cliffs, wobbly ladders.
5)Bridges and standing on bridges or feeling bridges sway doesn't bother me.
6)I love Movies.
7)I dislike people who say they love movies and proceed to say they hate a particular genre of movies.
8)One of my favourite movies is Abbott & Costello in The Naughty Nineties. (Their Who's on first routine was shown in this one in full, whereas in Pardon My Sarong it's only shown in part)
9)I also love reading.
10)And I enjoy all kinds of music, you just have to catch me in the right mood.
11)It irritates me to no end when people say "I like all kinds of music, except Country or Rap or Hip Hop." Okay..yeah no you don't. Even..."Country music is so bad, it's not singing it's just whining," Could one not argue, Rap isn't singing just speaking to a beat? or even that Some music is just screaming into a mic?
12)I like Country music. All of it. Twangy old stuff, newer not so twangy. Listen to Crystal Chandelier. Prime Song. Prime.
13)The number 13 is my lucky number, on Friday the 13th's I usually have the best day ever.
14)I'm Sagittarius and yes I believe in Astrology.
15)I don't believe in God but I do believe in life after death and reincarnation.
16)If I were to believe in a God, I wouldn't be monotheistic. I would much rather move backwards in times to when there were many gods, or else become Pagan.
17)I'm a fairweather fan. If a sport is on ...i choose and pick the team to cheer for randomly. Usually The Leafs, and the Red Sox...boston boys are sexy.
18)I love traveling.
19)I've never gone anywhere in Canada other than places in Ontario.
20)I've been to Three different states. Florida, New York and Massachussets.
21)I love learning new things.
22)I hate/hated school.
23)I'm thinking of going back to school.
24)When I drink a tea from Timmy's I have to make sure the line of the cup is no where near the mouth spot.
25)i have to have a blanket on top of my while I watch a movie. even when it's dreadfully hot outside.
26)We have central Air.
27)Our basement is ALWAYS cold.
28)I would rather read the book than see the movie.
29)I love reading...anything. If I can get my hands on it. I'll read it. I already said this...Hmmm I like repeating myself!
28)I think I may have fallen in Lust with Laurell K. Hamilton or at least Her characters. Especially Zebrowski....and Ed/Ted/Edward. Richards kinda hot but and idiot.
29)If books don't turn out the way I want them to I don't like them.
30)If I think something bad is going to happen to a character I stop reading the book, I still haven't finished reading the last book in the fire & ice song trilogy by Gearge R. Martin.
31)I collect Faeries.
32)I want a tattoo of a triquetra.
33)I love the t.v. show Charmed and I really don't want it to end.
34)Holly marie Combs is hot.
35)I'm straight,
36)I could possibly be bi. But I don't know if I could go down on a girl.
37)I don't think I could. Vaginas gross me out.
38)I like penises.
39)I've never seen one bigger than 5 inches....while erect. That wasn't in a picture.
40)I love animals.
41)I love photography.
42)I don't enjoy being photographed.
43)I don't particularly enjoy human photographs. I would much rather look at animals in pictures than people.
44)My Dad's family hunts Deer, partridge, bear. and traps other minor animals (beaver, muskrat)
45)We eat all the meat we catch except the beaver and other trapped animals.
46)Fried Partridge is my favourite, although Venison Stew is really tasty. (yes I am talking about eating Bambis Dad or Mom.)
47)We never shoot the Bambis.
48)Bambino is child/baby/infant in Italian. And...well I'm 1/4 Italian....
49)I have very fair skin so I burn easily.
50)I hate wasting time to put on sunblock.
51)I love the word master.
52)I hate the word Slave.
53)I dislike keeping my identity anonymous.
54)I dislike the thought of some people finding out who it is that writes this blog.
55)I dislike people who care about what others think.
56)I look in the mirror and see what other people see and I don't always like it.
57)I have thought about suicide.
58)then I thought about how much I would hate being a statistic.
59)I love Ice Cream. All of it...mind you I've yet to come across Sardine Ice Cream
60)I like Sardines.
61)I'm slowly learning I'm intrigued by very dark things.
62)I love being called "Pet", "My Good Girl", "Babygirl" and even when the occasion suits "Fucktoy"
63)I hate politics.
64)I pay no attention whatsoever as to what is going on in our government, and i do not complain...very much.
65)I dislike hypocrites.
66)I dislike the words, hate, nice and good. Hate is too strong, nice is the kiss of death as is good. "You look nice!" As compared to what? The wicked witch of the West?
67)I often say "You look ok," ...it means I don't like nor dislike the outfit. I feel nothing for it. It usually means there's not enough black, or not enough colour or I don't like the colour on that particular person.
68)I want a Tinkerbell Tattoo as well.
69)I love that this number is the symbol for the Zodiac sign cancer. I dislike 69'ing with guys. it's very awkward.
70)I'd also like a tattoo of an arrow, as that is the shorthand symbol for Sagittarius. Which happens to be my zodiac,
71)I can't not write. If I don't write...my life goes to shit and I begin thinking bad thoughts.
72)I don't understand how someone outside of family can like or even love me.
73)I constantly think I'm not worthy of the people I have around me.
74)I try too hard to make people like me sometimes.
75)I try too hard to keep something going even when there's absolutely no hope.
76)I wonder why people wonder why I have given up hope.
77)Seven times out of ten when I'm happy I'm not really I just can't bear the thought of people being concerned.
78)I dislike feeling selfish.
79)I can't stand someone ordering me about,
80)If someone says thanks without saying please, it's quite likely I won't do whatever they've asked. "Can you grab me a pop? Thanks." I'm not you're maid.
81)If one of my friends asks for a drink while at my house, if it's their first time here, I'll take them and show them where the drink fridge is..and then say "Now you know where it is. Now you can get your own drinks,"
82)No I don't think that is rude. Though it is lazy because I just won't feel like getting up to grab a pop for them. They want it...They can get it.
83)I was born in 1983.
84)I find older men more attractive. Say older than 30.
85)I really, really, really want to be tied up one day.
86)I would love to be published. Either, one of my stories if I ever finish it or some poetry if it's ever good enough.
87)If I could talk to anyone Dead or Alive I would choose....Gordon Kormon....Eric Wilson, Anne Mcaffrey....William Shakespeare, Cleopatra, Merlin....golly...so many to choose from.
88)If I could talk to any fictional character it would be, Any character from the Laurell K. Hamilton novels because...well Jason just sounds hot, as does nathaniel and becoming a weretiger would be....interesting. Or Jenks from Kim Harrisons novels...He's a pixie! Come on!
89)I love reading science fiction and fantasy. Although I am getting a groove on children's literature again.
90)I love Anne of Green Gables because quite often I feel that we have a lot in common...
91)I want to kiss a girl at least once....
92)I hate crying. HATE. Crying. People who make me cry I strongly dislike.
93)When I get angry, I cry.
94)I can't stand people yelling. It makes me very nervous and I have a tendency to freak out.
95)I love snow.
96)I love human contact, even just a handshake.
97)Pain interests and intrigues me.
98)I've found that I will pick a scab to create pain, to see blood and to feel a little bit of a rush.
99)I want a puppy.
100)people usually save the best for last...not me.

EroticFae

An interesting turn of events

2005-11-30T00:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, I saw the name thing on JeN's site and I found it amusing. Although I didn't take it quite as far as Darkeros.

Ok, so a little change in pace, I've been talking with G and we're...taking a break? Stopping the topping? *Groans* I really did just think it, so I had to write it. But yes, we're going to remain in touch and as friends but nothing else will be going on.

I've come to a point where I need to...figure stuff out. So while I will continue to write it won't necessarily be on here, if you'd like the site of my other blog please email me. Though I do plan on writing more stories and posting them on here strictly. Well depending on the subject matter of course.

I wish you all well over the holidays, just in case I don't get back here, though I prol'ly will.

A bientot mes amies!

EroticFae

You'd Never Expect it.

2005-11-23T21:12:00.000-05:00

"Get up, Please Get up!" He shook her body lightly, but it was no use. He had broken this one too. Like so many dolls they kept breaking on him. None had thus far lasted more than a month with him. He was becoming desperate. I should really try to feed them more often He thought to himself, perhaps that was why they broke so easily.

He wanted someone to fight with him, they always fought at first; especially when he started choking them. His hand wrapped so lovingly around their delicate throats, the veins in his thumbs pulsing as he pressed harder and harder. They would scratch and try to rip out his eyes, and he would laugh at their futile efforts. They would fall unconscious and he'd revive them.

He never meant to break them.

Why do they keep breaking on me?

He Looked down at the broken mess, a tangle of sheets, arms and legs. One would think she was sleeping at first, at least until they saw her eyes. A vivid ice blue, set off on pale ivory skin with sable hair. Open, glassy, a distant look in them. Very much like a dolls. Her fragile features adding to the China doll like appearance.

He dressed her in a white nightgown, and carried her down to the sleeping Chamber to be with the others.

He placed her gently down, and arranged her hair nicely. A tear even slid down his cheek.

"My poor beautiful Snow White,* He paused as he picked up the red lipstick tube with careful deliberance, "Lips as red as blood, Skin as white as snow" His fingers trailed over his cheek when he finished applying the lipstick, "I'll have to find a new one now, but I did well in picking you. I think, a red haired beauty will suit next, after all it is little red riding hood I'm after now, I did tell you about her didn't I? She was here just a few weeks ago, all those nasty ghosts and goblins, a sweet darling riding hood walking her wolf around the block. I've been watching her. I knew you wouldn't last much longer. It really is too bad. You were my favourite," He closed the lid and walked back upstairs as the doorbell chimed. He opened the door and smiled,

"Hello Mr. Lewis, I'm here for my dance lessons." The young red haired girl smiled up at the kind man, and he grinned back, wolfishly.

"Come on in my dear, let's see what we can teach you today hmm?"

He shut the door behind her and glanced once more at the six freezers in the basement before closing and locking the door.

Let me know what you think hmm?

EroticFae

Why....

2005-11-23T00:47:00.000-05:00

I'm uncomfortable in my skin,
I rip and tear at it,
revealing my secrets.

I poke and prod,
I tug and stitch,
making the pieces fit,

I'm uncomfortable in my skin.
I'm uncomfortable with Who I am,
with who I've become.
With Who I am becoming.

I want the discomfort to end,

when will it end?
When can I stop,
Making my skin looking exactly like yours?

So this is what a Random Post looks like...

2005-11-20T21:25:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling a little wacky lately....ok maybe very wacky. I'm now feeling a little out of it, combination starting to get a cold (Boo!!!!) and sugar high...mmm junior mints! And skor! and Hersey's bar...Cookies'n'Cream baby! I think I've had enough chocolate tonight to kill a dog.

cause they're not supposed to eat it...you know?

*singing*
I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas! ~ x3 (pronounced normally)

I like to ate, ate, ate apples and bananas! x3 (Long A sound i.e. I'm Canadian eh? )

I like to Iet Iet, Iet, ipples and binini's! x3 (Long 'I')

I like to oat, oat, oat, opples and bononos! x3 (Long 'o')

Oh kay......I think I'm tired too.

Did anyone else see Harry Pooter and the goblet of Fire? c'mon you closet Poter lovers, you know you did!

It was good, nothing like the book....except that they had a...hmm, perhaps I shouldn't say, ahh, but if you read the book you're safe.

They have a Triwizard Tournament, and the tasks are the same. That's about it. Oh an Big V comes back with a vengeance...they did well choosing Ralph Fiennes. I think that's who they chose. Ah well, Vive la vie Boheme!

I don't know, don't ask me why I said it, probably cause I wanna see Rent...oh and I'm goin' nuts, this is my second night in a row staying home with no place to be or go, or anyone to be with. I think I'm borderline....

Borderline (It's a Madonna Song...y'know?!)
written by Reggie Lucas
Track 2, Time: 5:22
-------------------------

Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playing with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby let it show
Honey don't you fool around

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

Chorus:

Borderline feels like I'm going to lose my mind
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

(repeat chorus again)

Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

(chorus)

Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Look what your love has done to me
Come on baby set me free
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm going insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Mm k I think I'm done for now...

Oh, I'm not really borderline in that way, I've got no guys on my horizon....well unless you count New Zealand being on the horizon, but....you can see the horizon, and you can't see New Zealand on it. At least I can't.

A heavy weight has settled somehwere in the vicinity of my heart.

2005-11-15T00:27:00.000-05:00

Ed. Note: I wrote this in the heat of the moment, I know I was feeling selfish and more than a little petty. I do not recant any part of it and
acknowledge that some it of may not be true though at the time it was written it seemed like it was and that is all that really matters. Parts of it still remain valid points and complete truth in my opinion and frighten me more than a little in that I have no idea where my life is leading me and that I seem to have only the knowledge that I am not where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. Some days I just wish my dad were here to talk to...

I sit here ready to burst in to tears, listening to a new c.d. I want to screeam and rant and rave because it's all just so not fair.

I'm hollow and empty and it's becoming the norm. I surround myself with things because buying stuff seems to make it better. If only for a little while.

I'm tired of being the crap under everyone's feet. I'm tired of being in the way, and not fitting where I so easily used to belong.

The Square peg trying to fit into the round hole has become the euphemism for my life. For me and I don't like it one bit.

I'm stagnating and rotting as a person in this cave of mine. I can't write anything half decent.

What I do write becomes bits and pieces of something that has no point, has no reason or rhyme. Fragments.

Like the way I feel. Parts of me are happy, the rest of me is bitterly sad. I'm twisting and writhing and becoming the wraith I wrote about so long ago.

My soul is slowly being sucked dry.

I'm not on the right path, I know that with every fiber of my being, and I don't know how to get off it. How do I change what I've become, how do I stop myself from becoming
so utterly lost that I have no way of returning to the person I know I can be again.

Or is too late?

Am I the wraith?

EroticFae

The Wraith

asadlittlegirlsolostandwithoutdirectiona
tinytugboatdrowninginawhirlwindofdespair.call
heraliarbelievethatsheisnotandshellkeeplying
meaningshavedisappearedandallthatisleftisprid
ewordshelpnonethatcantdisentanglethemselvesfr
omthehorridwebstheyweavealonelyexistenceisthe
oneshewalksaloneincrowdsandcrowdedwhenalone
thoughts rampage depression reigns andyet
it cant be stopped helplessagainsttheseaof
torment andweakeningasitcrashesagainstlegs
sheoncethoughtusthewaterthatstandsthroughtime
andwearsdownrockswenowknowthatitwasonlyanillu
sionweareallrocksweakeningwithageandwisdombec
oming the wraith
wealldespairthetugboathassunkandIÆm
swimmingnowmyheadbobbingbarelyoverthewaves
seaweedreachestograspmyanklesstrainingtopull
meundergaspingforbreathacrampinmysideGulping
thewaterdrowninginaseaofconcerndyinginanocean
ofloveashriveled wraith thathasbeenforgotten

An Unknown Punishment

2005-11-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

No one seems willing to comment on my poetry, or ....well if you can call it that. I know it was a rather depressing one but oddly enough I wasnt depressed at the time I wrote it. And today..well today is something entirely different.

It begins with last night ....

I had just finished turning the computer off for the night and had put the cats in my mom's bedroom and shut the door. I hurried into my room because I was eager to attempt something with my moms digital camera that I had never tried before.

My door was shut, my lights turned on and I was wearing nothing but a tiny yellow g-string, I laid my stomach on the bed, my ass pointing towards the camera sitting on the desk behind me. Click, Flash, grind, the picture was taken....I figured it out, how to use the timer. I can take those pictures for Him as soon as my laundry is done, I bite my lip and writhe a little on the bed, surprised at how excited that picture got me. I lay back, propped against my pillows. Holding the camera out I take a picture from the front of the lacy yellow fabric....I shiver a little aftreward. I've made my decision. I put the camera down, I walk over and turn off the lights, both the overhead and my nightstand touch lamp. I crawl beneath the covers and hurriedly tap off a quick text msg to Him. I'm rubbing my thighs together the whole time. The lights shining through my bedroom making the room seem as though it's bathed in moon light, when really it's just the weak glow from the lamps in the alley of the red bricks. I imagine it's the moons glow, it's more sensual that way. He messages me back. He'll call me in the morning, I smile gladly and jump as the vibrator touches my clit. I need it so badly, I'm almost dripping, and I'm writhing urgently. I awkwardly tap off another quick message, asking him if I can cum. I'm so close, I can feel it building, but I take a few deep breaths, he always says yes. He loves knowing that I come for him when I go to bed and knowing that more than likely I will dream of him.

"No pet you must wait to cum for me when I phone in the morning."

No?! Christ-on-a-crutch! I'm whimpering quietly into my down duvet, I'm jerking and breathing deeply. I'm tempted to let myself cum anyway, I gyrate my hips, my ass hitting down on the mattress before lifting higher, pushing me that much closer. I open my eyes and stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. I feel my body still, I breathe deeply and try to ignore it, I want it so badly....the release, the comfort of it it usually takes so long but tonight...oh tonight was beautiful and then he said no. I pull the vibrator off my clit, I'm shaking, trembling with the effort it takes to turn it off and place it in the drawer beside my bed. I curl up in a ball, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, slowing my breaths so I can fall asleep.

Slick bodies slide against each other, mouths meeting briefly and sliding down to bite on the side of a neck. Bodies shudder and whimpers and moans escape from quiet mouths.

"Andrea wheres my jacket!?" I sit up in bed, throw on my robe, grab mum's jacket and run it down to her. "Thank-you,"

"Welcum. Night," I scurry back upstairs, my eyes still half shut and climb into my still warm bed. I close my eyes and sigh briefyl falling back into a deep sleep. Damn her for ruining that dream. Although I will admit, it wasn't him I dreamt about.

I've been agoninzing...ok not quite agonizing over but, generally wondering what to write to Balthazar as I have told him I would write him a letter. And though I'm not certain I think it was my subconcious telling me to get on with it, write about this. But How? *Sigh* or rather as JeN says *le sigh*.

It's Noon now, he hasn't called...It's 6am there and I've nudged him once on MSN, and sent him a text msg, my body is still calling out for a release. I need him to be there for it, I want to hear his voice urging me on, demanding that I come for him. I know he's fallen asleep and he usually falls.....deep asleep. My body is covered with goosebumps, shiver spots, and generally well received tingles.

Odd thing is, it's a form of punishment, but he's not aware he's done it.

EroticFae

Death's Comfort.

2005-11-06T23:30:00.000-05:00

Breathe Deep My Child, Breathe Deep.
Floundering, drowning, colours swirling, limbs writhing, gasping for air, muscles spasming, death awaits.

Your charge is safe My Child, You can sleep
Sharp pain, loud bang, colours darkening, limbs jerk, death rattle, muscles loosen, lights go out, she awaits.

They'll Understand My Child, They'll Understand
dull pains, light covering, soft beeps, dimmed lights, sterile scents mask the rot, lids close and the beeps become an incessent drone, she's arrived.

You Daughter is Here, Child, Here.
screeching wheels, inhuman screams metal-on-metal, gasoline, a baby cries, a mother whimpers, car explodes, she holds them safe.

Breathe Deep My Child, Breathe Deep, you'll arrive one day

Funny How you try to write one thing and another completely different aspect comes tumbling out isn't it? I was supposed to write an erotic poem, and apparently my muse for the night wasn't from Dirty Thoughts at all. Just mostly from my own experiences. Funny how the one thing I fear, I've come to accept and know it's inevitable, but is it fair to be left feeling like it follows me everywhere?

EroticFae

Another brief unknown part of an Unknown land in the midst of an Unknown womans story.

2005-10-31T11:48:00.000-05:00

Stomping through the dimly lit cave, the petite woman threw her crudely made bowls and cooking pots onto the counters.

"A heretic! A dark Sorceress! Blast them to the seven levels of Darsius!" She ranted and raved as she threw herbs and plants into the cooking pot placed over the glowing fire that was never let go out. Her red hair was lossely hanging around her waist, bits and pieces braided with random items strewn throughout. A few feathers, a couple bells, some pretty beads and the soft shimmer of gold. Grumbling she continued making her stew over the fire. The anger inside slowly boiling itself away as she dropped and threw onions and potatoes into the water with the pungent herbs.

Walking towards the bed in the open cavern she took a robe and placed it around herself. Wrapping her nakedness in black.

"Black is for death Shola," The young woman started and turned to look at the entrance.

"You again! the last time I saw you, was three weeks ago when you left me at the mercy of the bloody council of Seven in Earlith! Tell me why I shouldn't blast you down myself?"

"You'll need me before the year is out," The man grinned almost patronizingly. "Besides you don't have the power to blast me down," The woman snarled at him and thrust a hand at him. He felt the rush of the power straining towards him and he let it roll over and thorugh him. He didn't fight it and it lasted no longer than a moment. It was all she needed.

The robe had disappeared and she held a bow and arrow in her arms aimed and ready to fire. The bow was a large as she was, the string appeared golden and the arrow was fletched with feathers that burned. Her eyes flashed at him and she cocked her head to the side.

"Do not. Patronize. Me. The god may save your soul but the goddess would drink your blood first," She watched the man shudder and grinned at him. Why will I need you?"

"Time will tell Shola-"

"Don't call me that! I am no Shola! I've not the power nor the inclination to be an evil one if this is why you're here, you're wasting both our times." She laid the bow and arrow down and walked to the stew which was bubbling and gave it a stir with a wooden spoon.

"So you think me a servent of the Seven?" He looked grimly at her and shook his head bowing it down and backing out. "You will learn all too soon what it means to be Shola, to be light within the darkness," He disappeared before her eyes and she gasped softly and smelled the air briefly to be certain he didnt remain and walked back to her robe, tossing the black one on the fire and reaching for the matching robe in blue silk. Perhaps this one would be better.

EroticFae

Static

2005-10-30T22:49:00.000-05:00

I listened to a new c.d. today...and who would have thought she'd make me think of you again. Oh dear Panning....even your metaphysicial spirit would be too homophobic to allow you masturbation.

Does it make you feel dirty? Is that why you won't call? Do I disgust you that much?

My spirit is open, and able to roam. My thoughts and beliefs are mine, I'll never try to force them on you and I hope someday you could come to understand the way that I am.

I like to stand in open fields and spin in circles with my arms spread out. I enjoy rolling down hills, and imagining myself to be a log, trying to hold myself stiff and straight. failing everytime when I double over in laughter. I like walking through mud in barefeet just to feel it squishing between my toes, I like walking through grass to feel it tickling my soles.

I still like to play tag, or hide and seek. Manhunt....in the dark, roaming the streets in my neighbourhood, even though you're not supposed to leave the park.

I enjoy playing board games, and I despise cheaters.

I don't like people who hold back....there are times and days where I hate myself.

I'm not anti social, I'm just not entirely comfortable talking to people. New People.....I try so hard...maybe too hard.

I'm so uncomfortable in this shell...it's disappointing, but I've learned to live with it sort of. I was at the gym on the treadmill, my friend on the machine beside me. I felt like the Heffalump beside Kiplings Bagheera. I was speed walking because I can run or even really jog ...I feel like a cow. And she ran, and ran, and ran. I was jealous and I hated it. and I got over it. I'll never be tall. I'll never be willow slender. I'll be a gypsy in an ivory skinned body for the rest of my life. No matter how often I dream of myself as the 5'8" woman with waist length wavy black hair and the amber eyes of the wolf. I'll still be here, Pale, red haired and blue eyed in an overweight body.

The song is playing again...I push it down....I become numb....and listen to the words...and I realize that I want to know the answer to what she asks.

Can you hear me?

EroticFae

Hear Me
by Kelly Clarkson

Hear me
Hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I'm far
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me

Page 250 of 722.

2005-10-20T22:46:00.000-04:00

Its the last book...for now. Until a new one arrives. *Siggh* Anita Blake, you and the company you keep provides me with a tingle between my thighs and horror in my heart. You scare me, you send me chills and intense thrills. I feel the hollow emptiness low in my belly when you're under the arduer and the men rush to your side. I feel sorrow as I read this last book for I do not know when the next will be out. I've devoured your life and grown to love all of you in these books. Anita works through her problems and is overpowered many times by her own power and only serves to remind me of Elena. Perhaps I shall re-read those few books when I am done here for to leave this new area comlpetely I think would damage me. The first books I've read that incorporate Vampires and Zombies with Dominance and Submission. The first books I've read ever with anything bearing a likeness to D/S.

page 250 of 722.....so close to be done...*whimper*

EroticFae

Just another Post

2005-10-17T23:50:00.000-04:00

Your comments made me tear up. I've been ready to cry all day. I'm probably pmsing, or manic about something.

Jen, you have no idea what your words mean. You usually find the right thing to say to 'buck' me up...that doesn't quite sound right but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Jay, you're an absolute doll. thank-you. And yes, a kick ass nap was what I needed and had while I was 'watching' Batman...the first one. It did wonders for me, got rid of the lethargicness I felt and gave me the energy to get up....well Bon Jovi did that too.

Balthazar B, there are days where it does make it feel better, and days when it doesn't. Last night it was...cathartic, thank-god I was able to blow off steam today at the gym because otherwise I would be just as insane right now.

G, You know I'd missed you too. Having family that I don't particularly enjoy around screwing up our time together was ....icky, after our talk and everything I do feel much better. You make me smile. *enter mushy thought* You make gloomy days sunny. *exit mushy thought* I just wish....well I wish a lot of things.

For an actual post now....

I have to lose weight.....20 lbs to be....at the weight I should be at, 10 lbs to make me happy, and 15 to make my doctor happy. At this moment, I am sitting in jeans that almost, but not quite, come down over my hips when I pull on them. It means I get to go shopping but for pants....ick! I hate pants shopping, tops, skirts, shoes, jackets, earrings, christ tampon shopping is better than pant shopping.

I'm 4'11". It makes finding nice pants difficult because they always look different when they've been hemmed. I feel like a schlep when the pants don't look quite right. On a happier note, I got my hair into pigtail nubbins (A la Phoebe on Charmed season 2.) and I love them, I may try doing it with braids next time though. Very comfy for when you're doing cardio at the gym.

******

limbo,
black, desolate,
different but the same,
frozen, watching,
stasis.

*******

stranded in limbo,
hardened heart,
frozen from within.
scared to care,
cares too much.
weak mind strengthens,
heart softens.
Love's life flows within.

*******

Summer's over,
winter beckons.
People bundled,
Walk cold concrete.
Whisper soft,
Frost can't hear.
Before you know it,
Summers here.

Won't you be my sunny raisin?

*******

There once was a woman in Nantucket,
Who held on to a very large bucket.

......

I think once you start to write limericks it's time to stop.....Here's a picture of one of my favourite tops.

Just because.

EroticFae

2005-10-16T23:43:00.000-04:00

I feel small. Tiny and insignificant. Right at this moment I want the day to be just over. Finished and done with. I want to curl up on my bed and feel someones arms around me. I want everything to be ok. I want this week to be gone. and forgotten.

There are days where I want to be forgotten. I wish no one knew who I was. So I could go....and not feel remorse. I'll never go. I'll always be here for those who need me.

I'm lost...Wandering the streets of my mind....this must be what it feels like to be in a coma....or to be in the Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop.

Numb, inarticulate and vaguely stupefied. I want my bed.

ef.

A few words from another contributor

2005-10-14T04:15:00.000-04:00

My pet has requested that I make a post to this site, and as she knows, there is almost nothing I wouldn't do for her, so here goes...

Her request was that I not post anything too sappy, so I shall do my best to steer clear of that. I had hoped to post a dream I had involving her, but unfortunately, I never seem to be able to remember details of dreams, only general feelings, emotions, reactions etc. So that idea went out the window...

So what to write, what to say about my sweet little pet. I don't always get all the time I wish I could have with her, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't always have the time she wishes she could with me. But in some ways, that just makes the time we have together more special, more exciting. My pet is such a good girl, always goes out of her way to please me, to satisfy me, and she does in every way. She has asked me to describe one of my fantasies, and although I am nowhere near the writer that she is, I shall give it a try:

I imagine leading her to our room, her hand in mine as I guide her with me. Standing her in front of me, taking a step back, admiring her beautiful body, her wonderful form, her face, smiling, but with just a hint of nervousness, of apprehension, of anticipation. Reaching my hands forward, and unbuttoning her blouse, my hands sliding up around her neck, lightly caressing the leather collar that fits snugly around her, and then sliding my hands down, over her shoulders, grazing over the skin, slipping under the material, and helping it to slide from her shoulders.

Leaning in to kiss her softly, gently, tenderly, my tongue grazing over her lips, my teeth lightly finding them, and biting softly. My hands returning to her shoulders, slowly easing the straps of her bra from her shoulders, my fingers moving behind her, lightly unsnapping the clasp, and sliding the bra down onto the floor. My eyes locked on her as her breasts become exposed, her nipples pink and excited, my breath catching in my throat.

Taking her hands in mine, and guiding her gently to the bed. Laying her down onto het back, leaning over her to kiss her, deeply this time, with passion, my body pressing to her's, my chest rubbing slightly against her breasts. My hands taking her wrists, and guiding them up slowly above her head, taking the leather cuffs that are attached to the head of the bed, and binding each one around her wrists. Lifting my head to smile down at her, tracing my fingers down her chest, over the rise of her breasts, and down over her stomach, to the waistband of her skirt...

**************************

I think that is enough for tonight, we wouldn't want people thinking I had a dirty mind on my first post now, would we?

G

A little Pissy

2005-10-12T23:02:00.000-04:00

Okay So now I'm in a rare mood. It was a rare mood to begind with as could be noticed by the ...after name?.....on my MSN. Which happened to be "Today I want to hold the Whip," It was a rare mood.

Only to be made rarer...?....when someone asked what it meant and why I was being so pissy lately. I made some smart ass remark and shortly got a "Fine you want to be a bitch well fuck-you too,"...although much more hostile sounding.

One thing I can not abide is being called names or sworn at in anger. I will not do it to you. Please do not do it to me. It's a small thing I hold in deep regard. It's called Respect.

Now I do not mean to go all "Respect lady" On you, (For those of us Ajaxians out there) but respect is a big thing and being able to control your temper is an amazing thing.

At this place in time. I. am. Angry. I wrote it with a smile on my face and love in my heart. I do not, and will not yell at you. I will very calmly, try to explain how I feel I've been wronged, and if we're on the phone hang up when I'm done letting you get no word in edge-wise. If you're in front of me I will shakily confront you with a waver in my voice because I don't like showing emotions. Particularly volatile ones. When I am done. I will calmly walk away.

If you try to reason with me, I will listen, and if I think your point is more valid. I will conceed. If I don't, I will not back down.

It's called Strength of Conviction. Not annoying. Or infuriating. Those are feelings that may be felt by the other party when dealing with me in this mood. I understand that, I can see how some would find that my unwillingness to stamp my feet and scream bloody murder infuriating. Sort of.

I can be wrong. I will admit that if I think I am wrong, maybe not gracefully, but I will do it. Ask Jen. Or Lauren. they both know I will do it.

If people would calm down more often before letting their anger loose, there might be less cases of road rage, less cases of random violence. It's a matter of knowing when, where and how to vent your emotions.

I can sort of handle my own. I shouldn't have to handle other peoples as well.

I may come back and re-read/edit this later when I'm not so....*scrunching my nose* Yech.....argumentative, confrontational. Angry. *biting off the last word*

EroticFae
P.S. For anyone interested in yelling at me afterwards about putting this on my blog....I'm not going to finish this sentence...it will only serve to...infuriate people more. Hmm, it almost makes me want to finish it y'know?

(Christ I sound like Rikku)

The Shoot and more.

2005-10-10T22:45:00.000-04:00

ok, so here goes my last few posts have been...excruciatingly long. Here I will try to learn from others and write short and sweetly.

1)Woke up late Sunday morning therefore got to the cottage late. But we got to stop for Ice Cream. Mmmm, Black Raspberry Thunder Kwartha Dairy.

*side note* I saw the store I normally see on the way north but for some reason the sign made me smile for another reason altogether. The store is a craft/woodsy athletic looking place and the sign to attract people has a huge, ginormous sized goos above it and says "Come in For A Gander"...It made me think of Goose & Gander. It made me smile and I felt very okay to be away from technology.

2)We arrived at the shoot a little later than normal 1:15. We should have been there for 1:00. We were the third people there. Nevrtheless I could have not showed and placed virtually the same. 2nd last. I practiced and got a bullseye and shot to place and only got 5, with both the 22 and 3030 (thirty-thirty).

3) Thanksgiving dinner was small this year. Only 8 of us and we ate like kings. I didn't eat that much because my stomach is still bothering me but it was superb!

4)Went to the cottage early...watched Charmed. *sigh* Went to bed.

5)Woke up late hurried to the farm because I was supposed to meet my cousin there at 9:30 to go riding. She showed basically half an hour later than I did...and only because I called her.

6)Had to literally chase after the horses for ten or fifteen minutes....Chasing after a thousand pound animal that can run faster than a three wheeler...sound fun? It's not. Funny, yes; fun, no.

7)Went riding was feeling very comfortable, got into a lope on the stretch home, fell off landed on my ass, rolled over and curled into a ball.

8)Re-learned to breathe. (If you've been reading Laurell K. Hamilton like I suggested you would know where this came from)

9)felt pain, lots and lots of pain.

10)Spent three hours driving home in pain. I could literally feel my body stiffening...even after taking advil.

11)Looked in the mirror when I got home. My ass is slightly blue from the bottom of the cheek up covering the bottom of my back and across to the center of my back. Sitting, standing, moving, being still it all feels the same. PAINFUL!

12)Wrote in my blog after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Which was painfully good. (Think, Now & Then, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Crossroads without the music.)

*to happen shortly*
13)Go to bed!

14) Wake up and possibly cry or at least have an epsom salt bath.

EroticFae

.....So Much for short and Sweet.

Thanksgiving

2005-10-09T00:38:00.000-04:00

So this last week has been borderline hell for me what with my cold, thinking I was going to be alone on Thanksgiving, and yes I know I wouldn't be left alone my friends would hav invited me to their place. The story is long, well not so long, and painfull. It boils down to the fact that I haven't spent a Thanksgiving, since my dad died, away from the cottage. That is the only place I truly feel connected to him and when I thought I would be without that comfort level, that certain security blanket, it was a tangible, real pain in my chest. I was almost having an anxiety attack because of it. It tells me one thing.

I haven't grieved properly. But I don't want to talk about that stuff right now.

I am going to my cottage, I get to wake up in five hours and shower and then leave. I'll get to be at the shoot and I'll probably even shoot, and lose. I'll get to go horseback riding and eat turkey and stuffing with gravy and cranberry sauce....home made cranberry sauce, homeade pumpkin pie...homemade all kinds of pies! Lemon Merangue, Pumpkin, cocnut Cream, Cherry, did I mention Pumpkin? *drool*

Mmm, lets see...oh yes, I'm planning on taking a whack load of pictures of the horses, maybe get my cousins to take some of me with the horse I normally ride. I can't wait.

I'll see all the different colours on the trees, feel the bite of winter in the air. God it feels so good to be up there at this time of the year. I'll be honest, until you've seen me around my family. You have no idea who I am. And afterwards....you'll be very confused.

On another note.

I've been thinking that soon when I go horseback riding I should wear the duotone balls, not yet! I'm definately not ready for that yet. But I think it could be interesting.

Yet again another note:

When you screw in a lightbulb, or for that matter any kind of a screw, the basic rule is 'righty-tighty, lefty-loosey'. Did you know Jugs are the opposite? And no I'm not talking about breasts for once....have I even talked about breasts on here before? *Shrugs,* Oh well, I'm sure you all know what I mean.

And now for the entertainment for the day/evening/middle of the night ....not that I haven't been trying to entertain you thus far but....oh I'm sorry, back to the point.

******

I left her standing at the car with her mom and the two dogs. It was well past midnight and the dark made it that much colder. The bite in the air made me walk that much faster.

I walk with both hands in my jacket pockets, each hand grasping a set of keys that have at least one large very painfull looking key on the ring. I don't know what I'm afraid of but it makes my heart beat faster. Cars drive by, their lights glaring at me angrily. One vehicle turns the signal indicator on, and moves into the next lane, I wait for it to go by before finishing the walk across.

I feel threatened.

I walk through the dark pathway leading to the alley, the light coming from the lamposts is dull and eeriely (sp?) orange. I hear the quiet voices of the two men down the way, they look over at me and try to hide the glowing ember, I can smell the pot from more than twenty feet away.

I feel the urge to ask for a hit.

I've never smoked it before so I ignore the urge and continue on my trek home. I walk down the four or five stairs it takes to arrive in the shadowy cat walk between two large houses. The wind speaks to the trees, and the leaves rustle in their foreign tongue. I catch my breath as wind rolls over me, I let it out when it's done and gone for the moment. It'll be back. Soon. I should walk faster, I keep telling myself I should have taken the car.

But I like the excercise, I haven't been to the gym in more than a week.

I walk past the house with the 'Power of Sale' sign in front. It even feels empty, like a ghost house, almost. I pick up speed and wonder why there are so few lamp posts on the street, the night is cold and eerie. It feels vaguely threatening and soon I'm stepping lightly up my steps. I keep an eye out for the spider living in our light fixture and I open the door stepping inside and locking it quickly. I'm home. I look at the clock on my telephone in the darkened kitchen. 12:35am.

It took me less than five minutes to arrive home tonight. I can do better.

******

EroticFae

Lesbians, Country Music and Comments not neccessarily in that order. And Laurell K.Hamilton

2005-10-06T19:02:00.000-04:00

...Apparently, quite a few people have visited. and not left comments.

Do you know what this does to a persons psyche?? I'm....a needer of comments. I seek for acceptance even though I hate it, and comments are the way I get it, even if you comment to say ...uhm...:

ur writing sux. ur a hack. get a lif u durte perv.

Yeah, thats about the worst kind of comment I could come up with....hell that would make me laugh. I'd then of course tell the poor soul to go back to school ...beginning with Kindergarten because clearly he needs to relearn everything.

*Quirking my head to the side* I just like the comments people so bring 'em on!!!!! *flicking my fingers in a 'Come'n'get me manner*

Next point.

My new manager, is a lesbian. It's interesting, we were talking and I said something which led me to this whole "I'm a big a fan of men comment" to which she replied,
"I'm a big fan of women,"
I wasn't necessarily shocked because I had heard rumours through the grapevine that is ...*We apologize for the inconvience but the connection has been momentarily dropped due to censorship.* Loud Buzzing Noise Ensues So I wasn't shocked at that I was shocked at the fact that she was so bold about it. (Jen made me laugh, she said my fingers are faster than my brain when it comes to typing...me?! Ha!)

So it's interesting, life will be interesting at...where I work.

Next Point.

Laurell K. Hamilton.
Amazing Author. Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies, Zombie Raisers (Animators,) Triumvirates, Dominate and submissives lifestyles, pain and bondage, friendship. What more can a girl ask for? Sex...oh yeah its there in the later books. Read her, Devour her first, then go back and taste her writings again. I have, I love her.
I also love Asher.

Next Point.

Why is it people will Always...ALWAYS say I love Music, and then proceed to bash a type...particularly Country music.

I am a fan of Country music.

Thats right. Country. Who's gonna beat me up!? Nobody. Cause it's good and you're all either closet listeners or fans of Shania, who's music is 90% pop btw.

Listen to George Strait, or Reba McEntire. Story songs, country, a little bit of twang some poignancy, or some hilarity.

But most importantly...you can understand what they are saying and a lot of the time they haven't altered their voices on the C.D.s.

Phew. I'm glad I got all that out. Now....a bit of creativity for the soul.

I sit behind a wall of glass,
I wish I had a tail to wag.
I wish I could go home with you,
I want to cuddle,
I want your hands petting me,
I want to be good,
I want to be bad,
let it out.
scream out loud.
here I sit.
behind this wall of glass.

Ech....I don't like it. I'm sure now I'll get all sorts of comments, *note sarcasm*

EroticFae

2005-10-05T03:00:00.000-04:00

My delerium frustrates me,
I do not know if he exists.
I drink the last of my coke,
in fear.
Is he real?
A hacking cough racks my body
and colours shift and blur as my glassy eyes begin to run.
tears trailing down my cheeks.
Damn this cold.
My delerium frustrates me.

EroticFae

A List of 100.

2005-10-05T01:43:00.000-04:00

EroticFae

Blastocyst

2005-10-02T23:44:00.000-04:00

I'm sick.

I feel icky.

I made up a new word.....Fruitickenarian....although in a comment on JeN's blog I thought maybe it should be Fruitickenegenarian. I'm good at making up new words. Especially when I'm doped up on Advil. I've only had two all day....I'm loopy.

I was talking about giving my friend a tea biscuit (she was holding it for my Mum) but I screwed it up....let's say her name was...Sarah...with an H. It's just not Sarah without the H...

This is what I said : I gave Tarah your seabiscuit Mum.

Of course that's not exactly what I said because my friends name is neither Sarah nor Tarah. Who spells Tarah with H anyway?

Regardless. I feel icky and I've just gotten over the big red week of hell.

Did you know after you go off the pill you get no warning signs that you're about to get your period? Talk about screwing with your mind. But I digress.

He went away for the weekend. He has a ...Bach. Pronounced Batch. What we call a cottage or Holiday Home if you want to get all Ritzy and what not. This is the view from the ...deck? grass out front? I don't know. But I want to go there and have him do deliciously wicked things to me out in the open.

(Normally this is where a gorgeous picture which includes white sandy beaches, blue skies and a bit of...mountain? would go...however ol'sicky I am I can't remember where I saved it to. Go figure. So in the meantime...enjoy this picture of 7 yr old me...at Halloween.)

He's supposed to call tomorrow and perhaps let me do wicked things to myself for him. I wish we lived closer. He could cuddle me when I need cuddling. Punish me when I need Punishing, and spank me whenever I wanted it. Well....if I asked nicely.

*Blush*

I was standing on the shoreline, letting the waves lap over my toes, gently once, gently twice. I had wrapped a throw blanket around me to ward off any chill. Couldn't have me getting sick now could we? It was a small blanket but large enough to cover my petite frame.

All I could hear was the gentle lapping of the waves. I never heard him walk up behind me, but I knew he was there even before he put his hands on my shoulders. I sighed happily and leaned my back into his chest.

"It's beautiful here. I wish we could stay here forever,"
"I do too my pet, but we can't. The real world always intrudes and we always have to say a beintot, but we never have to forget," Smiling up at him, my eyes half lidded as I feel myself growing warm. I rub my backside against his groin gently.

"You've given me so many beautiful memories, would you give me one more?" He quirked his head at me with a look of slight wonder in his darkened eyes and nodded slightly. I could feel his cock pressed hard against me, grinding into my back a little. I drop the blanket to the sandy beach and lay down on my back.

"Out here...please? Just once...?" I smiled nervously and he knelt before me, cupping my chin in his hand.

"After how well you've behaved this week, and how well you accepted your punishments. I can do no more than reward my pet," He bent his head and started nibbling and licking at my stomach and waist and I let my head fall back to the sand. Staring up at the light blue sky, and letting the waves carry me away.

*Blushes*

That's all for now folks. It's all my loopiness will allow. I keep imagining clowns jumping out of the woods with chainless chainsaws and rubber Hatchets. Not very conducive to a sexy story.

EroticFae

P.S. I had to give you a picture to look at didn't I?

A new Story....

2005-09-30T00:56:00.000-04:00

He held her eyes with his icy blue ones. She shivered slightly and drew her arms around her. The night suddenly gone cold and dark, she heard her teeth chattering but couldn't take her eyes from his. When he held out his arm to her she knew she shouldn't be reaching for it but could only scream in her mind as her hand was finally clasped in his.

His skin was pale, almost to the point of translucency. She knew if she had looked at the veins on his forearms she would have seen slight blue markings but his skin was so cold. No one with blood in their system could ever be that cold.

"You're one of them..." She trailed off nervously and whimpered when grinned ferally at her.

"Aye, and you're the witch who has been bringing my brethren down." His Blue eyes fairly snapped fire at her and she gasped, pulling at her arm now trying to pull out of his grasp. She was only a few feet from the doorway of her house.

She had been on her way home from the Library when she was first aware of her follower. She volunteered there after school on Mondays and Thursdays. At least when she was able to she did. School had been taking up more and more of her time. She had thought learning to stir a potion would be easy. She had no idea the different herbs there were in the world. She hadn't even been aware that Vampires existed until two weeks ago.

"I-I'm not a witch!" She ripped her arm out of her assailants hand and almost screamed as he scratched his nails in deep along her forearm.

"You're not a full-fledged witch yetm'dear. That's why they've sent me and not Luci or Gabe. If they had thought you more of a threat. You'd be gone. No one would ever find you. As it is...I'm allowed to make it as messy as I want it," He snarled at her and kept circlng around her. Her eyes were trapped and her cross was in her jewelry stand. Last time she'd ever take it off before bed. He lashed out her and she screamed.

I jolted out the reverie and blinked up at the man who was speaking to me.

"I'm sorry and you are?" He blinked at me unbelievingly.

"Sergeant Roderick De Ville, I'm here on erm...unofficial business," I sized him up quickly. 6'4" easily, dark skinned, brown eyes, brown hair, police uniform and if he hadn't been brown skinned I would have hazard a guess that he was blushing.

"Uncomfortable in my office sergeant?" I grinned up at him knowing what my office looked like. I was sitting in the middle of a yoga mat, my desk and chair pushed against the far wall and candles were lit all over the place. I stood up and stepped into my slip on canvas shoes. "I'm sorry I was working. Sort of," I grinned up at the man making him more uncomfortable by the minute and I was loving every second of it.

"I would like your help with a case Miss Everson," He stared me down, unblinkingly. It was a little more than nerve wracking it was downright creepy.

"Do you ever blink?" He blinked. "Thank-you, now what kind of help do you need Sergeant?" I smiled prettily at him when I saw the ladies out at the water cooler drooling over his backside. I walked over and shut the door. Bloody She-wolves in heat. They'll take whatever they can get and it was pretty close to the full moon.

"I need to find my sister. She's missing, has been for three days. She left a note...but it's not her writing and it makes me nervous," I studied him long and hard.

"Why not just file a missing person's report Sergeant?" He coughed lightly.

"I have. I've heard your office may get better results though," Aha, my reputation precedes me. I grinned congenially at the man.

"Do you happen to have a picture of your sister?" He nodded slowly and handed me a wallet sized photograph, most likely a school photo. I turned it over and my eyes widened. "Oh. Well this is unusual," He looked at me and leaned forward,

"You know her? You've seen her?! Can you tell me where she is?!" He fairly whimpered the last and I was afraid to tell him the truth.

"Did you know she was a learning witch?" He stared at me dumbfounded and he nodded slowly in the affirmative. "Hmmm, I've seen her but only in visions. I'll have to ask you to leave now. I'll call you when I find something substantial," I had to basically force the man out of my office. I was fuming, I was practically foaming at the mouth I was so ticked off.

"Dammit Aiden what have you gotten us into now?"

*********

I don't know if I should continue it or not. Let me know what you guys think.

EroticFae

A Punishment Deserved.

2005-09-28T01:08:00.000-04:00

He thought it was a form of cheating. I didn’t understand it and I certaintly didn’t see it as cheating but that didn’t matter. I’m his to do with as he pleases and he felt I needed a punishment.

I was stretched out across the bed and He was tying my hands to the headboard. My face was turned to the left and when he finished tying my hands with the scarves he trailed his fingers down my cheek and then grabbed my chin firmly between his fingers,

“Do you understand why you’re being punished my pet?” I was staring up into his eyes and I blinked and looked down,

“Not Really Sir. No,” I bit my lip a little and looked back up to him.

“Even after the explanation?” I nodded my head and he sighed heavily. “My love it is a matter of discipline and trust. I want to know when you meet men, when you have male friends and certainly if you have had other masters…Especially! Especially when you still talk to them. For all I know, you could be sleeping with all of them,” He looked down at me pointedly and a tiny glimmer of understanding shone in my eyes.

“Sir I would never- I mean how could think I would do that to you? I love my master. I would never do-”

“Shush pet…you’ll be ok,” He grinned a little as he looked down my body staring at my bare ass. I was wearing the leather corset he bought for me last Christmas. It was tight and made me look so thin, I loved the feeling of it pressing my breasts up, making them look full and perky. The stockings were black with a line riding up the back of my calves and thighs they stopped just where my thighs met and I had left off the panties as he had asked. It pleased me when I could do something like this for him. I know how he likes me to dress, I know he prefers my pussy trimmed and not shaven completely. I also know he likes to spank me.

“Pet are you ready to receive the first part of your punishment?”

“Yes Master I am ready,” I acquiesced nodding my head a little and I saw him holding the paddle in his hand and I watched as he brought it down on me…softly. I was a little confused and he grinned at me.

“You’ve started to enjoy the paddle my love…you like when I make your ass red and sore. I like that you like it, but it will be hard for you today. I may also decide to use the flogger today. I’m not sure yet. Your actions decide your own fate,” I nodded my head in understanding and he sat on the bed pinning my legs because there was no footboard. I realized what would happen. There was no arching room. No room to escape for a moment I couldn’t fall and I could not even really writhe.

I cried out the first time the paddle hit my ass, the bed bouncing a little with the movement and I pulled against the scarves. He spanked me again and again and again and everytime I thanked him. Twenty times with the paddle he spanked me. He chuckled and ran his hands over my red hot ass. Soothing it a little bit before he stretched his body over mine and reached to untie the scarves holding my arms, I could feel his cock hard against my ass and it made me shiver.. My wrists were red from pulling against the scarves and he rubbed some feeling back into them for me before dragging me to my feet.

“You did well pet…now I would like you to bend over the edge. I will only use the flogger to get you used to the feeling for now. 10 times medium strength.”

“You are a kind master.” I bow my head to him a little and turn towards the bed bending myself over the edge. I could hear the echo of the words he never spoke ‘You may not think so before I am done,’ I shivered and goosebumps prickled over my arms and legs.

“Ready pet?” He spoke softly, his hands running over my ass and a finger delving down to caress my wet pussy.

“Yes master. I am ready,” I heard him pick something up and never saw anything but heard the snap of it on my ass and then felt tongues of fire across my ass and lower back. I cried out loud and whimpered softly “Thank-you” He ran it over my ass and thighs spreading them out kindly even so much as to draw them across my back. Snapping the flog ten times, ten times I thank him and ten times I cry out. I’ll get better. Soon I won’t cry out…or if I do it will be because he says I may.

He set the flog beside my hand and started kissing my back softly my back tensing when he touched a particularly tender spot. He rolled me in his arms and carried me to the washroom. Standing me in the middle of the large room he took a cloth and wet it with lukewarm water. He took it and cleansed me softly. I was aching I felt the need to orgasm badly and he knew.

“Maybe later my pet,” He said as he picked me up and carried me back to the bed, laying me down and then curling up beside me looking at me face to face and I knew that this was just another form of punishment.

Did you enjoy it?

EroticFae

A task completed.

2005-09-27T00:55:00.000-04:00

I completed the task and I did use the jiggly balls....as long as I am sitting and not moving I can hold the ben wah balls in but I went shopping so ...lots of walking=jiggly balls.

They did hurt getting them in....maybe that's cause I was nervous. I went shopping with my cousin and I was afraid she or the other people could hear them bouncing...I was nervous...after a while I began to realize they felt really good. a constant jiggle inside rumbling around very interesting when you're about with 100 people around you. One of them a very close Cousin.

It wasn't overly arousing but it was very interesting. I will definately have to do it again. I've been thinking about buying an egg with a control on it that I can wear outside when I go walking or something....see how much I can stand.

First I need to find out if I can afford one.
I'm off though time for beddy-byes.

Eroticfae

A Task on Saturday.

2005-09-24T12:22:00.000-04:00

I have a Saturday off for once and I have been given a task. I have Ben wah (sp?) balls and other balls....the jiggly kind...JeN What are they called? Anyway I'm supposed to pick one of them and wear them at some point today. I think I'm going to use the jiggly ones cause I can hold those in....actually it's a matter of getting them in and then out...they hurt a little....too wide I guess....them not me. Jeez maybe I need more sleep.

I've told Him I've met someone sort of. I'm not sure if it's going anywhere or not but there's flirting and stuff going on so it looks hopefull *knocks on wood,* The guy I've met knows I have an online dom and....well he didn't freak out or anything he sort of told he had dom tendencies himself so...good bad I don't know.

I know how to interact with a guy when he's a friend and I know how to interact with a guy when we're making out.....not too hard there. but....mixing them? I don't know I screw it up somewhere along the line. Maybe I should just....give up on the wanting the sex stuff and just settle for the friendships....but I don't want to settle and I'm confused and stressed. And it's all the stupid human vaccuums fault. I swear to god if I could get away with it I'd follow him one night and kick the shit out of the stupid ignorant " I'm a man and so I know all. You're just a girl what the fuck do you think you know" boy.....So much anger....so much hurt....It's building almost like a physical thing inside me.

it's scary.

EroticFae

I Survived Screamers....And not just because someone else led the way...my purse helped a lot.

2005-09-20T23:28:00.000-04:00

My co-worker and his girlfriend and I roadtriped today. We went to Niagra Falls and to put it nicely had an interesting day. Very interesting.

It started out with Billie* almost getting us into one doozy of a car accident on the way there while she tried to open her coffee on the freeway. Not the smartest decision but it made my co-worker, no not the Human Vacuum guys but ermmm....Ted...Billie and Ted and uh...EroticFaes Excellent Adventure...*I'm smiling widely like I'm about to burst out laughing....it may actually happen by the time I'm done.* scream like you don't want to hear a guy scream. A.K.A. Girly-like. I wasn't fazed. Perhaps that says something about my driving abilities? Naw.

Next was the Butterfly Conservatory. Which was absolutely amazing. Beautiful and I want to own some of the plants they had there they were freakin' gorgeous. Notice I say plants not flowers. Plants require less maintenance. I'll have pictures soon. I need to develop them and then scan them and link it all up. Hopefully they turned out. Nothing very...ohhhhh wait. Yes something very interesting did happen. Albeit before the butterflies.

We stopped at the Btterfly Café to use the 'pee room' as Billie calls it and well...first they had the stupid Tissue toilet paper...the ones that make you feel like you're using 'Kleenex' and then...*giggling,* it's horrible but hilarious! Billie was in a stall which didn't lock properly and some lady started to push the door open on her..*laughing* oh god....all she said was "The door doesn't lock properly" and the stranger said "Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't see anything honest!" I didn't think I'd stop laughing when I saw Billie's face. She was dying from holding the laughter in. It was crazy we were laughing so hard we couldn't tell Ted what had happened until later and even then it was laughter all around. Well it's funny to me.

Then what happened? Oh we parked the car and went to eat lunch but that was unexciting......oh wait no no. We ate at Denny's. I ordered French Toast Cause I could and I love it. At least when it's not raw in the middle I do. Raw egg...my salmonella anyone? I had to send it back and when I got the new stuff....well they hadn't dipped it long enough for the egg to soak properly and so tasted like warm bread in the middle. That's my bit of stupidity for the day to go with Billies almost car accident.

Next was Frankenstein's Haunted House. We got a deal...$5.95 instead of the regular $7.95. It wasn't peak hourse and they weren't making enough money and we got suckered in like marbles in a vacuum. It was interesting. We all paid....we stood at the entrance staring into this gaping hole of darkness and I started laughing uncontrollably. Just looking into the pitch black...so black you can't see your hand two inches from your face kind of black and laughing my damn ass off. Me scared? Never. Billie backed up and said "Can I get a refund?" Ted went over and pulled her in.....we made Ted go in first. We Couldn't see anything until we saw the stairs all lit up. There was no where else to go but up. The Stupid people in movies always run upstairs. We were smarter. We walked very slowly. With the man in fr-...oh no by this time...the big strong manly-man Ted who can benchpress 195 lbs has picked me up and placed me in the front! Me!? 4'11" me! Like I'm gonna save his sorry ass. It's just stairs. I could see the top....just not around the corner. We keep going up. at the end of the hallway at the top theres a blank screen and a button on the wall with two ways to walk left or right. there were lights to the left and a dark hole in the right. I didn't go right. I didn't go left. Did I say I was smart earlier? Oops. I pushed the button and a scene activated as the guy jumped out of the wall. We all screamed and I just about fell.

I never said I was brave but hey I was in the front. After that I tried whatever I could to keep Ted from putting me in the front. It was easier after we met the nice strange french people going through the house as well. The guy laughed at everything and his girlfriend squealed and clung to him. The three of us just clung for dear life. I don't remember much else until all of a sudden I'm in the front again and I walk around a corner and the-......ohhh there was this other corner none of us wanted to walk down the hallway cause there was a black shape in the middle I thought it was a person who was gonna scare the shit out of me. I ran to the back. we got through that part and it ended up just being something...weird. Anyway the next really clear thing I remember is walking around a corner with a pack of people behind me and I scream maniacally because there's some person with a goddamn 'Scream' costume on. Did I expect a person to just be standing there? No. Was scared. You couldn't tell cause I was laughing so freakin' hard. I scared evreyone else with my scream. No one wanted to walk down the hallway so we went down a dead end...turning our backs on scream man. We do have our moments of stupidity don't we? I turn around and no I'm the only who realizes he wants us to go down towards him. "This way guys, he's motioning us this way...." I started walking to him with Billie clinging to my arm and Ted around somewhere. I turn the corner and there he is again with this freakin' glow in the dark sword coming out of the wall at me....what did I do? Scream. And then Jump backwards. Fucking Christ he was just out there.....then he started talking to me...."That way...it's mirrors..." I back up. No fucking way, I'd knock myself out if I went first. The french couple went first then Ted with Billie and I clinging. I turned around. He was Freaking following us!? Waving the sword at us and walking to me with that nasty mask on. I hate that mask. We finally end up outside at some point after getting scared a few more times....mainly because Ted would push buttons and something would jjump out at us. Billie and I yelled at him. "Don't push the goddamn buttons!" oh I forgot to mention, the whole time scary scream man was following us I was telling him to back up...much like this "Back off scary man creature thing." and "The scary man is following us...Go away! Please go away?!" Brave me.

Next we wandered around town a little and ended up doing a maze thing which was a little lame but that's ok.

Then we did Ripley's Museum. It was really interesting. I found out that one guy went over the falls and all they found was his tattooed arm. Can you say Ew?

But there was this really crazy tunnel where it was revolving around the walkway and there was a crooked chicken picture at the end. Christ I thought I was going to fall over and it was so great we did it like twenty more times. Frontwards, backwards, not touching, running it was awesome. But the most exciting moment approaches....the moment I had been waiting for all day. The reason we went to Niagra in the first place (other than the fact that I had never been there before.)

Screamers.

Okay, first off even the gift shop area was creepy and I was so tempted to buy one of their athamés, (double edged knife used in wiccan ceremonies). So we ended up doing two attractions forr $20 instead of one for $15. Suckered like marbles into a Hoover. Screamers and one of their 4-D movies which was interesting but unimportant. What is important is the knowledge that the only reason Billie and I were going in was because Ted said he would stay in front the whole time. He shook on it even. Lying Rat bastard.

So we walk in and it's completely dark and we have to follow the red lights the whole freakin' time well as soon as we get in all we here is a voice saying to put the one in the blue skirt in the front. That would be Billie. Ted apparently didn't hear this (we learned this afterward,) and Billie and I just ignored it...we get no more than two feet in and some guy growls and says "Keep Movin" from our right side and then walks his fingers up my fuckin spine. Did I freak out? Of course. Why? I was on the far left. Can you explain that? It wasn't a pre-recorded thing either. so we all jump forward five feet. and stop. dead. Didn't the guy just say keep moving? Billie screams. (I later find out this is when a hand plants itself on her head.) Something happens at some point and I'm separeted from Ted and Billie. Me. Separated. Did I like this? No. I knew there was someone behind us because he scared us into jumping apart. I cry out "Billie!?" And get a "Eroticfae!?" (Of course it was my real name not really EroticFae) back from her and Ted is just snickering nervously. He's been screaming along with us two girls by the way.

I put out my hand and find Billie....what I would have done if it hadn't been her? or Ted? uhmmmm....Run away headlong into a wall and knocked myself out probably. We cling and find Ted and cling some more "Keep movin'!" the gorwoly man says so we jump, scream and walk forward following the red lights on the ceiling. Not necessarily in that order and only until we run out of red lights. That was scary. then of course we get a "Keep moving" But we can't it's a dead end. I'm breathing heavily. Billies freaking "It's a dead end! we're stuck and we can't get out and Ted is nervously laughing. "Keep moving!" "We can't! There no red lights!" A red bulb glows showing us the dead end...turns off....turns on....there's a doorway....shit.

"Keep Moving!" No problem I think until Ted picks me up...I mean picks me up physically and places mee in front of him like some goddamn shield. Okay so if I'm his sheild what do I get?

My purse. I ball it so nothing will fall out and start swinging. "Keep moving!" By this time Ted has pushed me into three or four walls and I'm sore. We're sorta lost cause we keep hitting walls. So I swing so we know where the wall is. A growl comes from in front of me and I Swing like a freakin' crazed woman. Whilst screaming of course. Something grabs at my foot. I flip out "Stay away from you scary scary werewolf man creature thing!" While swinging my purse. Ted has repeatedly said ow so I assume I've been hitting him as well. Purely accidental. Hey he's the one who put me in the front and at least I'm still moving.

"Put that purse down little girl or I'll take it away from you!" okay no sweat now what do I do? "Okay!" Walk forward inch by slow inch. Growls ensue and of course some more "Keep movin'!"'s. We walk out of a hallway I could tell cause...it felt like more air. Next thing I knew was there was bright light, metal bar type things and a padded wall being pushed through my chest. Mainly because Ted and Billie have squashed me into it. Later I found out it was a truck that chased us across the room. It was Honking so I knew it was some kind of a vehicle. The Honking stopped. It went black....we stayed where we are. "I can't do this I can't do this" Billie by this time I think is going to have an asthma attack. "JUst breath slow hon! You can do it."

"Keep movin!"

"Stay where you are back off moster man we're going!" I'm scared shitless.

We walk eventually we get to the end I see daylight....a chainsaw sound starts. No Fucking way. Ted takes off around the corner...it seemed like a lot longer because this was my thought process...

Chainsaw Sound...Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Blood. Gore, Yuck, Ted is moving Why is he moving? He's not moving run. run...I ran holding Billies hand. There had been an empty hole to the right and the exit to the left. Billie was in the back. The guy chased us out. I never felt or saw him. I heard the chainsaw sound, and two heart beats later we were outside breathing heavily and all laughing nervously.

There's five people waiting to pay to go in. Shit.

I probably look like a comlpete mess. I just turn to Ted.

"If you ever put me in front of you to use as a bloody shield again, I will KICK YOU!" And we all laugh and move on to the next attraction.

After that was just lots of laughing watching some glassblowing and getting some fudge and books and food. Then Coming home.

I think my satchel purse is my favourite. It comes in handy when you're in the dark.

EroticFae

* Names have been changed to protect peoples Identities.

2005-09-18T23:21:00.000-04:00

Have you ever woken up one morning and realized the seasons have changed?

Have you been able to smell the difference in the air? From Spring to Summer and Summer to Fall, the difference is so minute that we tend to overlook it but if you stop to think about it the changes are magnificent and at the same time horrible.

I woke up the other day and new it smelled different from the day before. It smelled like death. I knew the season was truly changing then, not because the days were getting shorter or even cooler. It was that cloying scent of death that clings to your tongue with a bittersweet tang. You could smell the rotting leaves on the trees even before they started to fall and it made me wonder if trees feel like cancer patients. Can they feel themselves beginning to rot and losing their leaves? Trees get sick like humans do the only difference is that we can't talk to the tree to find out where it hurts.

I only have to look at our last remaining peach tree in our backyard to know its in pain. How can it not be? It's split up through the middle and has reddish gold sap leaking constantly as it tries to heal itself. The ants were crawling all over it this summer trying to get at the sweetness. Taking away the healing agents to eat so they could survive but in turn helping finish off the last tree of my dad's. The last tree he had planted and one of the last gifts we gave to him for Father's Day. Now the leaves aree turning colours and beginning to fall from it and does it feel it like another attack? Or does it just slowly accept its fate to die so that it can revive in Spring to continue its ugly battle with its illness. Maybe if Cancer patients could do that they would get better?

Bears begin to go into hibernation soon, crawling into caves and burroughing down for the winter to wake up in spring having given birth to cubs. Or maybe not, perhaps the poachers will come and shoot them for their hides...or rather the money they could get for them. Some deer lose their antlers or part of them, and pregnant Does walk around unaware that hunting season approaches. Sometimes if the Hunter's are knowledgeable enough they'll be able to tell if one is pregnant or if one is too young to die yet..."let it go this year, He'll be bigger next year. More Meat."

Our world around us slowly dies until it's covered with a crystalline blanket of white. When you're inside and warm you could almost believe something so beautiful would be warm and fluffy, instead of bitterly cold and often times crunchy. "It's good snow for snowmobiling", "Let's go skiing!?", "Let's go out and make a snowman!" Is this maybe just our way of making the best out of a bad situation? Our world is dead, granted the snow will melt, warmth will return and our trees will regrow their lost leaves. Only to have to lose them again in a few weeks.

Over the past few days I've taken time to truly appreciate some things I never thought to. I won't tell you what they were for that would take the fun out of your own experiences with the seasons, but have you given thought to what Mother Nature must go through? Or have you just been thinking about your own daily lives and the problems that lie within?

I continue to think that I am slowly dying, beginning with that which I feel is most important to me. My creativity drains away so slowly and I forget the words I know are inside me. I have to write quickly otherwise they are gone and forgotten, like the leaves that were lost last fall.

EroticFae

I feel numb...All Over.

2005-09-05T17:07:00.000-04:00

i was so looking forward to this weekend and although I still had a fairly decent time a few things maged to happen that basically turned it from a sunshiny day to a day full of gloom and doom

let's see first i was told by one cousin that another cousin was talking about me being clingy and obsessively scary about boys when i like them granted these cousins are in the midst of a fight and i quite agree with the cousin who told me of the talking behind the backage's point of view this added knowledge though unnecessary to sway my opinion was mildly hurtful even though it was told with the best of intentions so says she

the next bad thing to happen this weekend was my Great-Aunt Bernice passed away on saturday morning at 7 am talk about turning what was supposed to be a stress free relaxing weekend into the shitest weekend of the year

although im sure that wasnt her intention (please note that was sarcasm and my severly disturbing sense of humour)

so we had her funeral today and it was done basically to her specifications she had everything paid for and laid out and prepared so really all my Aunt Anne had to do was sign some papers and then it was done it was as nice as a funeral service can be although quite honestly the reverend who did the service for my father (and also married my sister) was much better than the one who did Aunt Bernices she was buried in the same cemetary as Daddy was and most of Dad's family right beside her husband ralph whom I had never met as he passed away in 1976 and I was born in 1983. It's vaguely intreesting because the family is all pretty well buried in the same row except for Daddy who was buried on the other side of the lot under a pine tree He loved Pinetrees.

It was hard.

The last time I was at the cemetary with that many people was five years ago this past july when we buried my father.

When he left he opened a gaping hole in my heart that's slowly been closing and healing over the years and now that Aunt Bernice is gone it's torn it open again. My sister said it best:

"Everytime someone in this family dies it feels like I'm losing a piece of my father all over again!" but my mom just looked at her and told her to look at her children in particular my nephew and said

"As long as you have them to look at you will never lose your father,"

It didn't help as much as she thought it would

I am a Gamer

2005-08-28T18:28:00.000-04:00

Yes. I am. (I could make it very Suess here by saying "A fan of games is what I am!" but I shall do my best to restrain myself...)

Two friends came over friday night and I realized all over again how much I truly enjoy playing the Final Fantasy Games for Playstation. Now, It may very well be that I own games v - X2 and have yet to finish ANY of them but I really love the concept of the games. And also the fact that if any of the characters were real we would be stunned by either their amazing good looks or horrifying terrible-ness. (i.e. Red XIII or Kimhari? Could they possibly be distantly related? Is it conceivable that the Ronso were once just like Red XIII...or does it make me a nerd to have even thought about that?)

But I digress.

The most, nay, one of the most amusing things that night was the fun we had trying to figure out who would play the characters in FFX (Final Fantasy X {also ten, or 10} for you non-gamers) in a movie. Well this is how it turned out:

Yuna: Natalie Portman
Lulu: Helena Bonham Carter
Auron: Bruce Willis
Tidus: Ryan Gosling
Rikku: Hilary Duff
Wakka: Guy Who will Play Gambit (In The New X-Men Movie)
Kimahri: Michael Clarke Duncan

Seymour: Johnny Depp *Takes a moment to drool*
the kid (Who I also refer to as the creepy kid or creepy fayth kid): Freddy Highmore
Jecht: Guy who plays Eomer in LOTR
Lord Braska: Hugh Jackman (Though now that I am thinking about it Kenneth Brannagh would be good too, *makes a mental note to tell JeN* )
Young Tidus: Random child Unknown
Yunalesca: Liv Tyler (*giggles* Jen Wrote 'DIE!' beside her name...)
Mika: David Carradine
Luzzu: Dave Navarro

Dona: Halle Berry
Belgamine: Alyssa Milano

And that's all that is in our list for now, we might think of some others though, rest assured I'll let you know... *Sniffs the air* Smells like dinner!
Ciao!

EroticFae

A quickie

2005-08-25T16:04:00.000-04:00

Hi all, just a quick update before I get ready for work. I've had a relatively good week which is slightly unusual for me. But hey, who am I to complain? At any rate, a smile was put on my face early this morning, right after dear ol' mum told me to mow the lawn. He called and that never fails to make me smile. Whether it's from the after effects of some of our chats or from the way he makes me feel it doesn't matter. He wants me to email him a picture of my henna tattoo that I got at Canada's Wonderland the other day so I think I shall post it here as well although I can not get a truly good shot of it because of where it is on my back it's a little wonky looking but I thought it suited me and all it did was make me want a real one a little more. *Sigh* Anyway, here goes,

As you can see it is a little faded on the bottom but hopefully someone will fix that up for me this weekend with my tattoo pen.....but man oh man I would kill for a real one....ok maybe not kill but I'm sure you get the point...

But I digress.

He called today and made me smile, and giggle and generally feel good about myself the way he usually does. How bad is it that the only guy that makes me feel that way lives in New Zealand while I am here in good old Canada....*groan* Some girls have all the luck.

Oh and random question, whats with all the hot guys with the ugly girlfriends? I mean ko they're not hideous but not terribly great looking, speaks a lot to the guys character and makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with the world. Oh if it were only 17th century....I'd be far more attractive because I could bear healthy children like a damned brood mare...*insert sarcasm* Yeah!!!! *end sarcasm*

oh shit I'm running way behind scedule If I don't tear off I'll be late for work. Have a good 'un.

Cheers!
Eroticfae

Step out.

2005-07-14T23:24:00.000-04:00

Withered and cold inside,
Struggling, striving to crawl through the dark,
bloody brittle fingers cling to the black cavern floor.

dirty bleeding hands pulling, nails chipping
cracking splitting, ripping.
The pain is gone, I rest before the door.

wood and metal, sturdy and strong.
warm against my back, natural and earthy.
Warming my core.

Scarred and battered,
staring into the darkness
bruised and sore,
feeling swallowed, whole.

I fall to pieces.

I pull them back, I struggle to stand,
pain whipping through the torn and bloody limbs.
a bloody mess, peering through strings of matted hair,
reaching for the handle, a string of bloody drool falling onto my breast.

I pull the latch.

And step out into the night.

This shall be a major update....or not.

2005-07-02T00:36:00.000-04:00

Hi guys, I'm not at the top of my game today so I don't know what this is going to turn into. Possibly just a lot of blithering idiocy but hey you never know do you?

Ok, so the first thing I should talk about is my last phone call from G. (a.k.a. Master) It was intense. I was uncomfortable for parts of it, but I pushed through those bits and I was even....ok...easiest way to say it is to not try to make it sound pretty...so here goes...I orgasmed without permission. Once only and it was....I was....out of my mind I couldn't talk I wanted to and I couldn't make my mouth work it was strange. Not to mention I'm not so good at the talking when I'm in the middle of 'it'. It's not a talking time! I mean ok...moans are good...things like "God baby yes" , "Put your legs here, ohhhh god!" , "so sexy" ...."taste so good"....uhmm lets see.....what else is ok.... "Harder...harder....yes!" That's ok! I can manage those....but the whole legitimate sentences where I actually have to think I can not do. I get to caught up in the pleasure. I think. At least...that's what I like to think. It's been long enough since I've actually had sex, and considering that it really was kind of a "Wham bam thank ya ma'am" kind of relationship, that I don't think I actually know what I'd do in person.

Does that make any sense? I'm tired and I want to cry. I'm glad I have no boyfriend. I'm afraid that if I did I might actually breakdown on him....that would be uncomfortable for both of us....

I know why I want to cry....I'm hormonal....menstruatuion and all that shit...and it is the beginning of the worst month ever. They say it gets easier as time passes by. I still get stabbing pains when I realize what month it is. It's not even necessarily the day that hurts that most it just the whole fucking month and it drives me bloody insane!!!!

God I want to hurt something!

I actually just want to hit something so I hurt myself or hit someone to make them hurt....and so I grit my teeth and clench my jaw and push back down inside and wait for the tears to clear from my eyes. A few sniffles and my breakdown is over.

for now. It'll happen again. but maybe not until the 28th.

I haven't been to see the grave yet this year. I hate going. But I feel like I should. Like he would want me to. It just makes it hurt so much more and I'm starting again so I need to write about something else.

Maybe I just need sleep I think that's what I will do. Go to bed sleepy head!

I think even if someone tried to touch me right now all I'd do is breakdown into tears or snarl at them. So....just consider this a melodramatic post and don't worry about it...I'll be fine....just don't....ask please...I don't think I could explain everything they it needs to be...

Eroticfae

silent choking tears
a soul dragged down,
tormented by the pain that never goes away.

The Erotic Side of Life

I came.

well, maybe this is for good.....

A real post, Not just another HNT.

Oy! What a day!

HNT-A new hobby

Songs & Stuff (I need more music on my computer, I need to be not lazy)

HNT plus One.

Feeling like a Big, Fat Inconveinence, even though I started the day feeling hot and sexy worth everyone's time...*Sigh*

HNT - With a backstory.

A Power Exchange.

HNT - The Forgotten Post.

An early HNT

1 HNT = 1 Of G's Gifts To Me

Five Little Words

I cried a Single tear when he left....

HNT : The Oddity.

Random Quote and a moment of anticipation....

HNT #....I don't have a clue....

Just a quickie,

HNT, Enjoy!

I cried a single tear....literally.

Melancholic, over Dramatic. Upset and Irritated is what I am.

Devil in Me. A poem with reflections of three.

Ill....a bad pic but whatever

An HNT Story - GameNight of Hilarity (Can I freak your Freakin' Freak?)

VIDEO GAMES WOO WOO'S AND DAQUIRIS.

Canadian Winter Joy

Johari Nohari...?

Do you believe? - Petter Pan

HNT - Tess Asked for it. So, Why not give it to her?

blurbification

Tonight I write, not with the Muse of Fae, but the Muse Calliope upon Me.

Random Joke Day

Just so you can see, the part I Dislike about me.

The beginning of a fantasy, with the ending that just popped into my head and made me giggle.

A slightly older Picture.

No colour, no organization...I'm icky feeling so suck it up.

Two for the price of one,

Addictions

Born Lippy

A re-post from the fall.

More Randomnity + An Epiphany

A brief beginning to a story and HNT.

a bitter post, a confused and utterly female post.

A Not So Hot but Still Kinda Hot Tale.

A whole new side of HNT.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

A shorty...in all its...tameness.

HNT

Walk the Line - A brief Review

...just a blurb...

Books! My Obsession.

Deviance

A Cop Story

She'd Be There.

A list of 100.

An interesting turn of events

You'd Never Expect it.

Why....

So this is what a Random Post looks like...

A heavy weight has settled somehwere in the vicinity of my heart.

An Unknown Punishment

Death's Comfort.

Another brief unknown part of an Unknown land in the midst of an Unknown womans story.

Static

Page 250 of 722.

Just another Post

A few words from another contributor

A little Pissy

The Shoot and more.

Thanksgiving

Lesbians, Country Music and Comments not neccessarily in that order. And Laurell K.Hamilton

A List of 100.

Blastocyst

A new Story....

A Punishment Deserved.

A task completed.

A Task on Saturday.

I Survived Screamers....And not just because someone else led the way...my purse helped a lot.

Feeling like a Big, Fat Inconveinence, even though I started the day feeling hot and sexy worth everyone's time...Sigh